The Toddler and the Tweenager

People aren't lying when they tell you that time goes by so fast when you're raising kids. We suddenly have a tween in our midst. The attitude started several months before her most recent birthday, but I feel like now that she's officially in that age bracket, everything has been amplified.  

Merle is like having a toddler - he's into everything while we're gone. He won't turn two until this August. I know his puppy habits won't magically disappear when he has his birthday, but maybe they'll start to ween themselves out.  

Lent started yesterday, and I decided to give up more sugar than I usually do for the season.  Walking Merle has helped me lose five pounds in about two and a half months, but I'd like to lose at least five more. Wine, especially white wine, has a decent amount of sugar in it.  Last night, all I wanted was a piece of chocolate for dessert!  The way things have gone today, I wonder if I'll last all forty days without anything sweet besides fruit; which brings up an interesting point.  As I type this, I'm trying to rationalize giving up wine - grapes are fruit, and I'm not giving up apples, pears, citrus, berries, or any other type of natural sweets...  

I think I'll go do a face mask and try to relax. 

It's Halloween, Y'all!

 My favorite time of year is here!  We've got a very busy weekend ahead.  Yesterday at work was costume day, and I dressed as "new school Cruella".  If you haven't seen the new movie, you need to.  My parents even like it because of the soundtrack.  It was what we were all watching together right before we lost power when Ida blew in.  

Today was a Witchy Luncheon at Dickie Brennan's Steakhouse with girlfriends and tonight was Trunk or Treat at little one's school.  I was a witch all day.  At school, she dressed as Mal from The Descendants, and tonight she was a Saints cheerleader.  Tomorrow night we're trick or treating in a school friend's neighborhood and I'll be a bat. She's going to be Elsa from Frozen 2.  Actual Halloween night in our neighborhood I'll be Cruella again, but a different version and she and her dad will be Dalmatians.  Bonus that the weather will actually be fall like, and they won't sweat to death in their outfits.  

Costuming has always been my jam, but I'm extra happy that she and my husband get into it, too.  In fact, he's diehard family costume guy.  A couple of years ago, we talked about him being Willy Wonka, her being an Oompa Loompa, and me being one of the bratty girls from the movie.  He's still bitter that it didn't work out.  

The amount of candy that has already been accrued just from tonight and today at school is impressive.  I can't imagine how much the next two nights will bring.  We moved with leftover candy from past holidays between the condo and here.  So much of it was stale and should have been trashed long ago.  It just got finished like a month ago.  Never again.  If there's leftover candy from this Halloween, it's got to be gone by Christmas.  Then the leftover Christmas candy needs to be gone by Valentine's Day, and Valentine's Day needs to be gone by Easter.  No more saving it for months - that's disgusting.  

We're all looking forward to Halloween in our new house and new neighborhood.  Apparently, it's quite a party with everyone setting up at the ends of their driveways and handing out candy to the masses; like, supposed busloads of trick or treaters.  It's also been awesome to decorate inside and outside.  I had to throw away a lot of decorations this year because a glass globe full of glittery water broke in a tote (assuming during the move) and mold grew on just about everything stored in there.  Turns out, I didn't need all those decorations anyway.  This house is twice the size of the condo and I had plenty of décor to space around.  

Cheers and Happy Halloween, y'all! 

Living with Intention

Most of us make new year's resolutions and promptly discard them because we lose motivation.  I'd be lying if I said things were any different this year, BUT I'm hoping that because of what my goal is, it will help.  

Living with intention means that I will think before I act, make a final decision, or speak.  It's been increasingly apparent that our kiddo hears almost everything we say even if we're whispering.  There are a lot of expressions that I personally have used over the years that she has begun repeating.  While they might be funny at home, or not funny but tolerable to us, we also know she would get in pretty big trouble if she said these things at school.  

When she was little, we worried that her dad's conversational cursing (he works in a brewery, and they curse all day long) would be an issue.  He was really good at quickly breaking that habit, but then I turned out to be the one with the bad mouth!  It's still a challenge to bite my tongue when I'm frustrated; however, we keep telling her not to repeat those words here or at school. There was one day that she spilled her water cup all over the dining table and she said something like, "Christ dammit!".  

It's not always words, though. I have been wanting to decrease my waist size for years and setting the intention to eat mindfully and get more physically active are the only ways that is ever going to happen for me.  I notice that if I write down my mental to-do list, including intentions, I am more likely to achieve those goals.  Thoughts like: "Am I really hungry, or am I just bored?"; "Am I just shoveling food into my mouth, or am I eating slow enough to notice when I'm full?"; "When is the last time I got up and moved (my fitness tracker reminds me once an hour)?"; "When is the last time I drank a full cup of water?".  If I can get myself in the habit of mentally checking in, then I can also be more present for my family members when we're all together because I've been taking care of myself.  

Last year, those two weeks that I thought I had cancer made me face reality - we don't know when our last day here is.  Especially now with all of the new strains of COVID appearing, staying in the present moment is of utmost importance.  I want to be more mindful of my contributions to my health so I know that I am taking an active role in my well-being. 

Flying by the seat of our pants is fine for social events, but for everything else, I am asking "what brings me joy?" or  if a certain outcome or choice is "speaking to me".  So far, my husband and our girl have not caught on to this concept in the least. It is my resolution, though, not theirs.  

Love in the Time of COVID

I went to the same school in kindergarten as I went to fourth through sixth grade.  While I was there, my big crush was on David Mueller.  His dad runs the WWII Museum in New Orleans nowadays if you're looking for context.  My childhood friend, Noelle, and I would chase David around the playground at recess.  One day my favorite teacher "pulled us over" and gave us a verbal scolding for essentially harassing David.  She wasn't wrong; we basically were since we were so obsessed with him. I don't know that he really minded, though.  When Noelle and I were in college he came to visit and must have called my dorm room six times before I got home from class.  When I finally went over to Noelle's room to visit, he was all flirty.  Our moms were close friends all through our childhood so everyone was in on what was happening from day one.    

All of my life I was boy-crazy.  When I went to a different school for first through third grade, I had a crush on a boy named Jesse (sorry, don't remember his last name).  He was always nice to me, but he had a girlfriend named Joy.  I hated her and she was always snooty to me.  Lol!  Young love. 

Our girl had a "boyfriend" when she was in daycare.  He'll be referred to as "M".  They go to different schools now, but every now and then they'll see each other at a birthday party, or have a Zoom call.  The other day, she and I were getting home from school and she announced that her neighborhood friend that we'll call "J" was "so sweet and so cute".  Later that evening at dinner, she said that they give each other "kissies".  I had to ask what that meant - thankfully, it's kisses on the cheek and nothing more.  The weird twist is that J's dad and I were involved several years ago.  The kids don't know that, but my husband and J's mom know that.  It's all fine since they're young and innocent now, they just can't get together in high school.  😉 

Other than my crushes all through school, I didn't actually date until high school.  My husband, on the other hand, had all the little "girlfriends" from a young age like our daughter.  I find it entertaining but also a little baffling mostly because I don't want our girl to grow up too fast.  I was playing with Strawberry Shortcake, Cabbage Patch dolls, and Barbies at her age.  She loves her Barbies and Legos, but also seems to come out of nowhere with some outfits she wants to go play in when it involves J.  

I'm sure it's all fine.  Today they acted like street musicians and sat at a patio table playing guitar (him) and ukulele (her).  Other times they build forts and play house in the treehouse his dad built him. There's nothing I need to worry about, right?  She's got another crush at her school, too.  She said that she doesn't know which boy to marry!  Y'all.  Boy. Crazy. up in here!

Getting Older

Eight years ago today, my husband and I had our first date.  We met Halloween night as strangers in a bar, and within 24-hours we intentionally met again in a cemetery to photograph candlelit graves for All Saints Day.  After that, we went to eat dinner at a local restaurant (which we will be visiting for a meal today, as we do every year) to celebrate.  That same restaurant is where he proposed to me one year after our first date.  Our girl was born two and a half months later.  

We were in our thirties when we met.  I think a big reason we were as social as we used to be pre-COVID times is because we were still dating in a way, even though it was no longer just the two of us.  If you did the math, we didn't have much "just the two of us" time before we became parents.  Another reason we used to take so many family field trips is because of FOMO (fear of missing out).  I have an invisible to-do list that is made up entirely of experiences that gets longer and longer, the more I find out about what's going on.  

Now that we are both in our early forties, we have noticed a significant change in our bodies.  We both need to lose weight for one, but we are also finding ourselves with more aches and pains.  Keeping up with our first grader is physically challenging at times.  Current lifestyle restrictions have slowed us down a lot so we are home more and take weekends much easier than we used to.  That's probably a good thing for multiple reasons, and it's also likely made us more aware of body issues.  Ibuprofen, Aleve, heating pads, and ice packs are becoming our good friends.  

I feel guilty that we aren't able to keep up as younger parents might with their energetic children.  My parents were in their mid-thirties when I was six years old. Some of our daughter's friends have much younger parents.  On the other hand, most of our friends had kids later, too, so we're all in the same boat as far as energy levels and aging bodies go.  In that light, I feel less guilty.  Our girl loves us no matter what and doesn't know the difference between us now and us eight years ago.  

My husband gave me a card once that said, "I wish I'd have met you sooner so I could love you longer".  I wish that, too.  And there is no one else that I'd rather be getting older with than him, aches and pains or not.  

Phase 2

Summer camp has finally started!  Y'all, when the meteorologists kept talking up TS Cristobal I was hoping it was just going to blow over.  We see now that didn't happen, but when camp officially started on Tuesday, I'm sure I was one of many parents who rejoiced and relished in the uninterrupted quiet for seven hours. 

I am still working from home, but I'm also experimenting with going into the office a bit more this week just because I can now.  There is a quiz on either the state or the governor's website that is for anyone to assess whether or not they should return to work yet.  Unfortunately, no matter how many times I changed my answers a smidge (Hashimoto's (autoimmune) disease, my allergy symptoms), me having asthma continuously puts me at 'high risk' and I should still be working from home as much as possible.  Maybe I'm making a mistake, but I want to keep going into the office.  I think I probably shouldn't be running errands; like, my job isn't putting me at risk but going out in public in general is.  

I would like to take the antibody test to see if I've already had the virus. Just before this was about to become the weirdest time of our lives, my daughter and I both got sick.  I felt ill enough that I used a lot of sick time from work; however, I never had fever so I wasn't eligible to get tested back then.  My allergist gave me a new inhaler and my symptoms improved; although, the nurse at the office gave me wide eyes when I mentioned I was having trouble breathing.  My daughter had a very slight fever and a cough and went to the doctor twice, but never the shortness of breath.  Together, our symptoms would have gotten us both tested, but separately we didn't meet the criteria at the time.  Now I think anyone who wants to get tested can.  

Anyway, phase two has introduced the current and more hopeful "new normal" for us.  I am looking forward to a routine that includes being healthier mentally and physically.  Days that I go into the office - the ones that my assistant isn't there, my child is at camp, and my husband is at work - will be just like a pre-COVID life workday during the school year.  Days that I work from home can include a walk or a bike ride at some point in addition to getting my thoughts together without interruption.  One friend said that if their kid is awake, they're talking.  Mine is the same way.  We mean that lovingly, of course, but there is also a lot to be said for uninterrupted thinking. 

The next thing to decide is how many face masks does one need.  I mean, it is the new fashion accessory these days, and I'm all about accessories!  

Persevering

We are now in week seven of this crazy new life.  I have since become a grumpy, (more) judgy, germaphobe compared to my old self.

I do think that part of my mental state is what it is because we are already cramped in this condo.  If we had a real yard and more square footage to spread out in, I think I'd lose my cool less and likely be feel more relaxed.  That's how I feel when I have visited my parents at least, and their house is almost three times the size of where we live.

After a week-long spring break, we're back to virtual classroom learning. Thankfully, there are only a few weeks left of school. The other night I registered her for summer camps, assuming they'll take place.  Of course, now with the extended stay at home order, I wonder if they'll happen at all. If not, this is going to be a very long summer.

When my husband got home from work today I just broke down and cried. Now I'm having a glass of wine. So many things and people needed my attention today, I feel like I've been playing an all day game of Twister and it's exhausting.

The longer this stay at home, live with all these restrictions goes on, the less I see a silver lining. Yes, I'm depressed and deal with anxiety regularly; however, I also am not able to imagine when or how things will go back to what they used to be. Honestly, I don't think they'll ever be exactly how they used to. Part of me is okay with that, but the not knowing what to expect at all is what's making me crazy. Practicing yoga - staying in the present moment - and getting enough exercise (which is not happening) will help, I know. Thankfully, I am able to do zoom yoga through work once a week. It's the only program I have going right now.  Planning a completely virtual summer reading program for the library is not easy since we supply everything that's needed for patrons, but I think it will all work out somehow.

Changing how our brains work that is the hardest part of all of this.  If anyone has any suggestions on how to balance the demands this is making on so many of us, please share. I'm sure we can all use a different perspective.  In the meantime, cheers!

COVID 19 Scare

Yeah, I'm just going to start with the obvious. What is happening??  I know the media is really good at scaring us, especially when it comes to weather, but I'm going to be honest, I'm a little concerned about having an autoimmune disease and this new strain of COVID 19.  I make a note of saying new strain because the virus has been around forever, just like the rhinovirus (the common cold).  Apparently, this strain is new and has no cure which is why it's taking people out.  Am I old?  No, but I'm not young, and the person who just died in New Orleans from COVID 19 was only 58 years old - only 16 years older than me.  There was not a specific cause of "underlying condition" mentioned, but I'm already immunocompromised with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.

I've been a working mom for 6 years now.  When I was on maternity leave, I quickly realized that I could not be a stay at home mom.  The whole, "let me just roll with the punches and do whatever strikes me" thing is a little too unstructured for me, even though I do greatly appreciate the autonomy of my job.  I'm sure that's not what an actual SAHM does, but that's how I viewed it at the time.  Due to school closing for 4-weeks and having to work remotely from home, we'll also be homeschooling.

There are actual homework assignments due each week.  I'm not complaining - I think it's a great idea to keep our kids learning during this time.  Not that they aren't always learning, but you know, "school stuff".  Also, routine and structure.  That may help both of us during the next few weeks.  We can still do fun stuff, of course, but also we can also spend true quality time together rather than half paying attention trying to get things done on a school night or cram things into a weekend. 

Finally, as scary as this time seems at the moment, I do feel like it is all happening for a reason.  The "riff-raff" needs to get cleaned out of the universe.  People need to reprioritize and get rid of the clutter.  We need to see the true value of things again and be kind to one another.  That doesn't mean I'm ready to see a generation die off or put myself or loved ones at risk getting a disease, but I also believe in the greater good a situation.  My hope is that we can achieve a better work-life balance and focus on what really matters again.

Cheers to decluttering, self-care, and the coveted balance...and God have mercy on us!

Pee - it's everywhere you want to be

Our girl is just shy of her third birthday. We've been potty training for just over three months now, at home and at daycare.  Most of that time, she's been in pull ups.  She was doing really well for awhile, especially with pooping in the potty, but for the last month, she's seemingly lost interest in the potty all together.  I understand that playtime is the most important thing in the world to her right now. Interrupting that for any reason whatsoever is just crazy....but so is walking around in soiled underpants, at least in my opinion. 

Hoping it may help, I've switched her to the kind of training pants we used as toddlers - the Gerber kind with the built in pad with a plastic cover over them. Today is day three and the accidents are multiplying.  In fact, they've tripled today alone.  I'm not mad.  One of those accidents did happen on the already nasty love seat, but it's also our main seating in the living room.  I sprayed it heavily with Lysol this evening to get rid of the smell. Shortly thereafter, I recalled Power dorm on LSU's campus several years ago (now where East Campus Apartments are).  Apparently, they smelled like piss and Lysol all the time! 

There are many reasons why it will be wonderful to have a potty trained kid.  We can finally buy nicer seating for the living room.  I won't have to carry a diaper bag anymore.  She can go to Montessori school.  Her dad and I will get a small pay raise because we won't have to buy diapers anymore (she still wears overnight diapers,  not pullups).

What do you do when you really need to put your love seat out for the trash (its also been puked on, pooped on, had milk spilled on it) but dont want to ruin your upholstered living room chairs that are still in good shape, or the floor pillows, or even the rug? Cover everything in plastic like in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? Sigh...

Toddler Times

No. No no. No? No! Noooo.

All of our daughter's variations of her favorite word. 

Did you have fun at school today?  No. Did you paint at school today?  No. Did you go outside today? No.
Oftentimes, she thinks it's funny.  She'll start out serious but be giggling by the end. Or she'll say no, and then look at you with the biggest grin. She's a ham, just like her dad.

The tantrums seem to come out of nowhere,  and they are so dramatic.  Sometimes I wonder how different her behavior would be if she didn't go to daycare.   I feel like that's where she learned dramatic whining.  I know that's where she learned hitting, but it's also where she's learning lots of good things.  Everyday she surprises me with a new word.  This week she's even saying short,  intelligible sentences.