It's Halloween, Y'all!

 My favorite time of year is here!  We've got a very busy weekend ahead.  Yesterday at work was costume day, and I dressed as "new school Cruella".  If you haven't seen the new movie, you need to.  My parents even like it because of the soundtrack.  It was what we were all watching together right before we lost power when Ida blew in.  

Today was a Witchy Luncheon at Dickie Brennan's Steakhouse with girlfriends and tonight was Trunk or Treat at little one's school.  I was a witch all day.  At school, she dressed as Mal from The Descendants, and tonight she was a Saints cheerleader.  Tomorrow night we're trick or treating in a school friend's neighborhood and I'll be a bat. She's going to be Elsa from Frozen 2.  Actual Halloween night in our neighborhood I'll be Cruella again, but a different version and she and her dad will be Dalmatians.  Bonus that the weather will actually be fall like, and they won't sweat to death in their outfits.  

Costuming has always been my jam, but I'm extra happy that she and my husband get into it, too.  In fact, he's diehard family costume guy.  A couple of years ago, we talked about him being Willy Wonka, her being an Oompa Loompa, and me being one of the bratty girls from the movie.  He's still bitter that it didn't work out.  

The amount of candy that has already been accrued just from tonight and today at school is impressive.  I can't imagine how much the next two nights will bring.  We moved with leftover candy from past holidays between the condo and here.  So much of it was stale and should have been trashed long ago.  It just got finished like a month ago.  Never again.  If there's leftover candy from this Halloween, it's got to be gone by Christmas.  Then the leftover Christmas candy needs to be gone by Valentine's Day, and Valentine's Day needs to be gone by Easter.  No more saving it for months - that's disgusting.  

We're all looking forward to Halloween in our new house and new neighborhood.  Apparently, it's quite a party with everyone setting up at the ends of their driveways and handing out candy to the masses; like, supposed busloads of trick or treaters.  It's also been awesome to decorate inside and outside.  I had to throw away a lot of decorations this year because a glass globe full of glittery water broke in a tote (assuming during the move) and mold grew on just about everything stored in there.  Turns out, I didn't need all those decorations anyway.  This house is twice the size of the condo and I had plenty of décor to space around.  

Cheers and Happy Halloween, y'all! 

Life As We Know It

Friends, I am so happy to let you know that we are finally moving!  We are buying a house that is about double the size of the condo we have been cramped in for so many years.  It's in a neighborhood that has covenants to prevent the trash and Sandford and Sons look that our current neighborhood has.  The streets are clean, the yards are well-kept, it's bike-friendly, the neighbors acknowledge you and wave when you drive by, and people take pride in their homes and possessions.  In short, "we're movin' on up"!

Speaking of song lyrics, what's a move without a playlist?  If I didn't tell you it was about moving, you may think it's a breakup song list.  I guess in a way, it is.  I've lived in this condo for almost fourteen years.  My now husband joined me eight years ago, but prior to that, it was just me and my dating foibles.  Between my mid-twenties and early thirties, you could say that I was "sewing my wild oats". I had fun, but there was also a lot of heartache.  A long-time friend said that within a year or two after moving in here, I started having neighbor troubles and things went downhill from there. That's a long time to be depressed about where you live.  

That same friend suggested that I turn all of the negatives into a gratitude list about moving. For example, rather than getting frustrated that I can hear guitar practice through the wall, now I can say, "only x number of days until we never have to worry about that again!".  We have a literal countdown calendar on the fridge.  As of today, there are only sixteen days until the act of sale!  

Going through this home buying process with my husband is something that is bonding us for life.  While that seems so obvious, I mean it in that working together to make this dream of ours come true is further proof that we really are a team with the same interests and goals.  Sure, we're two different people who go about life in different ways at times and we don't always understand each other's reactions to situations, but this is us getting down to business and things are going pretty smoothly.  That's a really good and reassuring feeling.  

Our kiddo is still not nearly as excited as we thought she would be about the process, but she is looking forward to decorating her new room and having her own bathroom.  She's already planning sleepovers and hoping to make some nicer friends.  As her parents, we are looking forward to nicer kids for her to play with also, in addition to the debris-free streets to ride her bike on to the neighborhood park.  It's a huge sigh of relief to finally be able to say, "the dog days are over"!

The Back Burner Again

Mental health has fallen out of the focus of politicians and the news media again.  Yes, it's very important to get the vaccine to everyone ASAP and, all of the disenfranchisement and racial disparity in our country should be in the spotlight.  However, literally, everyone needs mental help with the prolonged abnormal life we have all been living for a year.  According to Dr. Fauci, things might be closer to how they used to be by August.  Of course, the global warming winter storms in states like Texas that aren't prepared for weather conditions like that slows shipments and deliveries of everything down - regular mail and highly sensitive packages like the vaccine.  Supposedly, we might have a normal Christmas.  Ugh.  

I've noticed that in our household, pandemic life has affected me the most.  Our daughter goes to private school and has been attending face-to-face the entire year.  They started at the usual time in August and have had a regular holiday schedule all year.  There are restricted gatherings at lunch, recess, Mass, and aftercare, but she still gets to see friends and have a semi-normal routine.  My husband has had almost no change in his daily routine briefly when all of this began.  At my office, we have split staff so that if there's an issue, contact tracing will be easier.  That makes communication between my assistant and me challenging and at times very frustrating.  I also prefer to work in my office and not from home.  I need that separation of space, but also don't have the space to set up an office at home.  

Being at home more allows for getting more chores done during the week instead of on weekends, but I also feel like I am doing more than anyone else that lives here, and harbor resentment sometimes.  When my family members seem not to notice, I get more aggravated, which leaves me not enjoying our time together like I should.  Lately, I feel like that's more the norm than not, and that's not good.  What all of it boils down to is that regular people like me - some boring white lady who is still securely employed, don't have to worry about eviction, or starving for food, and doesn't need to homeschool her kid, still needs mental help.  

It's not just the chores and project weight I feel so often that's getting me down; I haven't seen my friends in person in almost a year.  Sure, there have been a handful of times that I have had a lunch date or even gotten a drink, but other than getting together with family over the holidays or chatting with a coworker in the hall on days that I'm in the office, I am now a homebody.  That's a stark contrast to pre-pandemic me, and against my nature.  My best friend and I have literally not seen each other since last March and we only live ten minutes away from each other.  We talk on the phone once or twice a week, but it's not the same.  We need to go out to lunch or dinner and have a few drinks together without the interruptions of call waiting or curbside pickup on the way home from work.   

Lastly, while I believe it is important to sanitize and be more hygienically responsible than we all used to be, even just for allergy's sake, I am tired of wearing a mask.  Don't worry - it's not something I'm going to stop doing until it is deemed safe by the CDC or a trusted expert, and I'm not joining the "you're taking away my personal freedom" club by any means.  It's like wearing a winter coat and layers at this time of year or even carrying a purse.  It gets annoying after a while.  

Living with Intention

Most of us make new year's resolutions and promptly discard them because we lose motivation.  I'd be lying if I said things were any different this year, BUT I'm hoping that because of what my goal is, it will help.  

Living with intention means that I will think before I act, make a final decision, or speak.  It's been increasingly apparent that our kiddo hears almost everything we say even if we're whispering.  There are a lot of expressions that I personally have used over the years that she has begun repeating.  While they might be funny at home, or not funny but tolerable to us, we also know she would get in pretty big trouble if she said these things at school.  

When she was little, we worried that her dad's conversational cursing (he works in a brewery, and they curse all day long) would be an issue.  He was really good at quickly breaking that habit, but then I turned out to be the one with the bad mouth!  It's still a challenge to bite my tongue when I'm frustrated; however, we keep telling her not to repeat those words here or at school. There was one day that she spilled her water cup all over the dining table and she said something like, "Christ dammit!".  

It's not always words, though. I have been wanting to decrease my waist size for years and setting the intention to eat mindfully and get more physically active are the only ways that is ever going to happen for me.  I notice that if I write down my mental to-do list, including intentions, I am more likely to achieve those goals.  Thoughts like: "Am I really hungry, or am I just bored?"; "Am I just shoveling food into my mouth, or am I eating slow enough to notice when I'm full?"; "When is the last time I got up and moved (my fitness tracker reminds me once an hour)?"; "When is the last time I drank a full cup of water?".  If I can get myself in the habit of mentally checking in, then I can also be more present for my family members when we're all together because I've been taking care of myself.  

Last year, those two weeks that I thought I had cancer made me face reality - we don't know when our last day here is.  Especially now with all of the new strains of COVID appearing, staying in the present moment is of utmost importance.  I want to be more mindful of my contributions to my health so I know that I am taking an active role in my well-being. 

Flying by the seat of our pants is fine for social events, but for everything else, I am asking "what brings me joy?" or  if a certain outcome or choice is "speaking to me".  So far, my husband and our girl have not caught on to this concept in the least. It is my resolution, though, not theirs.