Soundtrack

Music has played an integral part in my life.  I can't think of anyone who hasn't been affected by a song even if they prefer quiet.  This morning as a shot of self-care, I set up the Bluetooth speaker and listened to my Amazon playlist while I showered.  What a difference that made!

The little person of the house, aka The Governor, already has her own taste in tunes.  She also does not like it when I sing and definitely does not like it when I dance.  She has been told but doesn't understand when I was in college, friends and I would go to the Varsity every Thursday night and dance on the front of the stage for hours.  I think it was called "Retro Night", so of course I dressed in-theme wearing seventies and vintage clothes. 

Some songs that have really stuck with me over time and why:

Ingrid Michaelson's "Afterlife" is so appropriate for the current events right now.  I know I discovered her post-college, but I can't remember exactly how or where.

Eliza and the Delusionals is a newly discovered band. The singer is young, but that girl's got some lungs! This would have totally been one of my theme songs when I was dating in my twenties and early thirties - "Just Exist".

Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" is a video and a song that I can watch and listen to over and over to this day.  There are definitely two relationships that this is the theme song for.  While every part of life makes us who we are today, I also hope that my daughter is not as naive as I was when she dates.  That quote about doing the same thing over and over expecting different results means your insane is very true.  Giving up your entire lifestyle for another person or trying to change who you are (as cliche' as that is) is also a horrible idea and should never happen.  Stay strong.  No one is worth all that.

"Sweet Disposition" by The Temper Trap is one of my favorites because it makes me dance, but also because I remember it almost as a signifier that I was in love with my now-husband.  It came on one day when we were getting ready for a date and it was maybe the first time in years that I danced as my true skilless self and didn't care what I looked like.  For whatever reason, I got very self-conscious about dancing in front of other people in my mid to late twenties, so I was very freeing to feel that safe again.

The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" is an older favorite of mine. I think I was introduced to them at the beginning of high school.  A track teammate of mine introduced me to a lot of "alternative" music.  He was actually my first date, but I ended it early because I was bored. He was always really snarky with me after that, which I guess was his defense mechanism but he was still someone I interacted with regularly because of track and cross country meets.  Bands like Psychadelic Furs, Pearl Jam, Dinosaur Jr. and Alice in Chains were some of the other bands I learned about from him.  Either sophomore or junior year of high school, I went to homecoming without a date and my friend Rachel and I danced to "Just Like Heaven" without abandon in the gym.  It was another one of those incredibly freeing moments.

What musicians have influenced you over the years?  Is there a song that makes you want to get up and dance, stirs up deep emotions, or always brings a smile to your face?  If you're a parent, what do you think of the songs your offspring listen to?  I will say that our parents did not listen to the lyrics of some of what we listened to growing up - there's no way!  So many lyrics are obviously about drugs or sex, but I don't remember being censored.  Anyway, jam on!

Life School

Each day of the "new normal" is getting better.  Today is especially improved because my hubby is home from work, too.  Single parenting is hard, even when you're technically not a single parent - they're just at work for the day.  

I've discovered that I really don't know my way around the kitchen.  Baking has long been my jam but I never wanted to learn how to cook.  My mom offered several times to teach me growing up, but I always had something else I wanted to be doing.  Since I'm working from home now I figure that I should be fixing the meals so the hubby gets a break after he's been working in a hot warehouse all day.  He's always in a warehouse and I'm always in the air conditioning, but my brain says that since I'm home and he's not, I should be the cook. Silver lining: I'm expanding my skill set and learning more recipes.  

I have also gained respect for the amount of time he spends washing dishes.  We have a galley kitchen and it is very small.  There is hardly any counter space so prepping anything, even a sandwich, is cramped.  More than one person in there at a time can cause claustrophobia or at least, an elbow to a hanging pot or the dishrack, if not the other person in there with you.  The single basin sink fills with dirty dishes quickly and while the dishwasher gets run just about every other night, there is still a lot of handwashing that needs to happen so the most often used pots are available for cooking dinner.  

Last but not least, I have a better idea of what stay-at-home parents do every day.  It is quite different now that our girl is older and can do so much for herself.  When she was an infant and I was craving social interaction but didn't want to pack her and all of her stuff up to go out, my perspective was much different.  Trying to do chores, decluttering projects, fix meals, work from home, and help her with school assignments, I don't understand how regular stay-at-home parents get anything accomplished.  I have yet to practice much self-care, although I am trying to do something small every day.  

Other than the lifestyle learning curve and allergies, we are doing pretty well with all of this.  I hope you and your peeps are, too!

COVID 19 Scare

Yeah, I'm just going to start with the obvious. What is happening??  I know the media is really good at scaring us, especially when it comes to weather, but I'm going to be honest, I'm a little concerned about having an autoimmune disease and this new strain of COVID 19.  I make a note of saying new strain because the virus has been around forever, just like the rhinovirus (the common cold).  Apparently, this strain is new and has no cure which is why it's taking people out.  Am I old?  No, but I'm not young, and the person who just died in New Orleans from COVID 19 was only 58 years old - only 16 years older than me.  There was not a specific cause of "underlying condition" mentioned, but I'm already immunocompromised with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.

I've been a working mom for 6 years now.  When I was on maternity leave, I quickly realized that I could not be a stay at home mom.  The whole, "let me just roll with the punches and do whatever strikes me" thing is a little too unstructured for me, even though I do greatly appreciate the autonomy of my job.  I'm sure that's not what an actual SAHM does, but that's how I viewed it at the time.  Due to school closing for 4-weeks and having to work remotely from home, we'll also be homeschooling.

There are actual homework assignments due each week.  I'm not complaining - I think it's a great idea to keep our kids learning during this time.  Not that they aren't always learning, but you know, "school stuff".  Also, routine and structure.  That may help both of us during the next few weeks.  We can still do fun stuff, of course, but also we can also spend true quality time together rather than half paying attention trying to get things done on a school night or cram things into a weekend. 

Finally, as scary as this time seems at the moment, I do feel like it is all happening for a reason.  The "riff-raff" needs to get cleaned out of the universe.  People need to reprioritize and get rid of the clutter.  We need to see the true value of things again and be kind to one another.  That doesn't mean I'm ready to see a generation die off or put myself or loved ones at risk getting a disease, but I also believe in the greater good a situation.  My hope is that we can achieve a better work-life balance and focus on what really matters again.

Cheers to decluttering, self-care, and the coveted balance...and God have mercy on us!