MYOB

We seem to have moved on from, "when are you due?"/"are you pregnant?" to "when are you going to have another one?". My first answer to this is, "it's not your business", but since that's rude to say (insert eye roll for the irony) let me spell it out for you...we're not going to. 

Why is the house a trainwreck? Why can't we just go to the store for the reason we went to store? Why can't we go out to eat without having to step outside with a screaming child? Why can't we just be alone for a bit? Because we have a toddler. 

Good for you if you have the patience to have more than one - we don't. You have probably secured a place in heaven for yourself.

Maybe it's because we're both first borns, but having constant unfinished projects laying around drives us nuts. I admire the daycare workers and school teachers because I don't know how they do it all day every day. I tried it for five years; it wasn't for me.  I feel like a failure on weekends and my days off because I get so frustrated with our daughter and need multiple mental breaks. I tell myself I should be able to handle this better and I'm actually a chicken because I went back to work and couldn't handle being a stay at home mom.  She's a typical toddler and well behaved the majority of the time, too!

Did I ever think I'd just have one? Of course not. I thought I'd have two or three, really.  At the end of college, when I first started to believe I'd be single forever, I was going to adopt five different kids from different backgrounds to ensure they grew up with love and respect for other cultures and races. Those were my idealist days.

It's no secret that I've dealt with anxiety in the past, that I have kidney issues (yes, I have a tumor, but it's benign), and a cyst on one of my fallopian tubes, or that I'm two weeks away from my 38th birthday (not exactly bounding with energy anymore). It's also not widely advertised that LP wasn't planned, but if you can do math, you can figure it out.  We also have outgrown our home, and desperately need to move, but can't at the moment.

That being said, if we had another surprise we'd be happy.  We wouldn't trade our girl for anything in the world.  She is awesome beyond words, and she'd likely love being a big sister. But that's not our plan, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop asking.

Get it Together Already!

That's what I tell myself on a pretty regular basis.  LP is almost two and a half, yet I still can't seem to grasp the art of packing a diaper bag - whether it's having enough diapers in reserve, refilling the wipes, having snacks or a drink or even an empty drinking vessel for her to fill with tap water.

She hates having her face wiped, her hair brushed, and her nails cut, but she'll copy me on everything else right down to the hand gesture or tune I mindlessly hum while I'm choosing which salsa to buy at the grocery.

The last month has been awkward because she refuses to sleep in her own room in her own bed.  At least, for the most part, she doesn't sleep in our bed, but she wants to be in our room in her old bassinet that she hangs out of. She's also been clingy, and asks to be held quite often, like she's insecure.

Everything we read says she's testing her independence, which is obvious in play and the majority of awake time; however, it's completely opposite during night time when we're trying to get her to bed. She also had been a great sleeper from two months old until about a month ago (she's 28 months now).  To be fair, she did have an ear infection, but now we've let her strong will wear us down and we're all sleep deprived.

Talking with other parents has helped ease my mind a bit, although, when we're in the trenches at home - aka during a tantrum or meltdown - it's hard to remember that we're not alone in this tumultuous adventure called parenthood.  To adapt a phrase from Almond Joy and Mounds: sometimes it makes you feel like you're nuts, sometimes it's fun.