Eleven years ago, I became a homeowner. It has been nothing short of a bad investment. Property value has declined, the neighbors have never been great and in some ways are getting worse. I've gotten stuck running the HOA more than once and currently, while I'm an officer, I have my husband handle all of it because I'm so over it.
In past posts, I have complained a bit about living here, but after yesterday afternoon we have come to realize that I have reached the bottom of the pit of despair. The only kid who is our daughter's age that lives around here throws rocks at people's windshields, calls adults names, and doesn't listen or have any respect for anyone - much like his father. Our daughter has lost interest in playing with him, but he doesn't get the hint. My husband and I have both told his parents about issues we have had with him, but it makes no difference. truthfully, I feel bad for the mother. She is in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with his father and likely doesn't see a way out so she stays.
Additionally, the father is "Sanford and Son" with three boats that he never uses, a broken dirt bike, a broken motorcycle, a broken golf cart, and a giant tool shed and a tree house that he built with no permits. He owes the HOA thousands of dollars from not paying over the last several years, and has had a lean place on his property. Again, it makes no difference. That's all on one end of the building.
Our immediate next door neighbors supposedly have maggots and other unsavory inhabitants in their unit because, until last weekend, they hadn't taken their trash out in quite some time. We are assuming that their parents must be in town for Thanksgiving since their front porch is the cleanest I have seen it in years. We had a roof rat in our place after Easter that supposedly came to visit from their place. The two brothers that live there are at least nice enough people. The third brother that used to live there is the one who used to keep me up at night with loud music and parties, one of which my car got keyed at by a guest when I called the cops. My whole car had to get repainted because across my hood, the guy wrote "KUNT" and drew a line around the entire car body.
My mental well-being has been permanently damaged by all of the drama here and I truly hate that we are stuck here for our child's first several years of life. The plan is to sell my husband's place near Lafayette within the next few months and then work on getting out of my place which is where we live. Apparently, people who live near us think I'm a "crazy lady" as a teenager called me yesterday, but I don't care. Maybe that will make them all leave us alone until we can get out of this hell.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Saturday, November 17, 2018
Death
The first time I had to deal with death was when I was either in kindergarten or first grade when the family dog had to get put down. During the day, he had been hit by a car and injured so badly that that was the most humane option. He was my parents first child. My dad met me on the front lawn after school and told me Soapy was gone. That was my first heartbreak.
When I was in elementary school, my maternal grandmother passed away. It was a very hard time for my mom and I feel like the grieving I did was more for her, or that's how I remember it now. Great grandparents, other grandparents, and a great aunt died before I was in high school. My maternal grandfather passed away in 2009. He lived with us after Katrina and my mom was his main caretaker for years until he passed. That was a tough one to go through, also. The next big heartbreaks I had were when the family dogs, Rusty and Dash, were put down within a few years of each other because of age and health issues.
Just last week, my husband's grandfather passed away. He was 96 years old. Tomorrow is actually his 97 birthday. By the time I met my husband, Paw-paw was already fairly deep into dementia. He never knew my name and I'm not really sure that he ever understood that I was his grandson's wife. I never knew him like all of his family did, and that's okay. In a way, that made it much easier for me to comfort my husband when his heart broke. Although I cried several times, it was because I know what he's going through, and it reminds of me going through the similar situation with my grandfather.
Our daughter is around the same age I was when I dealt with losing Soapy. She doesn't quite understand what death means and she has a lot of questions. Explaining it is one of those abstract concepts that we have to be really careful about what we say so we don't cause more confusion. There was a helpful article on a parenting site that warned about leaning too far into the heaven explanation because you don't want to make your child think that they will only be happy when they die and go to heaven. That's what we were kind of brought up thinking, though, so that leaves us really lost at what to say about it.
Have you had to explain a death in the family - pet or human - to the five and under crowd? Do you have any advice or tips? Our girl sort of gets it, but still doesn't really get it. My main concern right now is that her not getting it gets her dad upset because it makes him continuously think about the loss.
When I was in elementary school, my maternal grandmother passed away. It was a very hard time for my mom and I feel like the grieving I did was more for her, or that's how I remember it now. Great grandparents, other grandparents, and a great aunt died before I was in high school. My maternal grandfather passed away in 2009. He lived with us after Katrina and my mom was his main caretaker for years until he passed. That was a tough one to go through, also. The next big heartbreaks I had were when the family dogs, Rusty and Dash, were put down within a few years of each other because of age and health issues.
Just last week, my husband's grandfather passed away. He was 96 years old. Tomorrow is actually his 97 birthday. By the time I met my husband, Paw-paw was already fairly deep into dementia. He never knew my name and I'm not really sure that he ever understood that I was his grandson's wife. I never knew him like all of his family did, and that's okay. In a way, that made it much easier for me to comfort my husband when his heart broke. Although I cried several times, it was because I know what he's going through, and it reminds of me going through the similar situation with my grandfather.
Our daughter is around the same age I was when I dealt with losing Soapy. She doesn't quite understand what death means and she has a lot of questions. Explaining it is one of those abstract concepts that we have to be really careful about what we say so we don't cause more confusion. There was a helpful article on a parenting site that warned about leaning too far into the heaven explanation because you don't want to make your child think that they will only be happy when they die and go to heaven. That's what we were kind of brought up thinking, though, so that leaves us really lost at what to say about it.
Have you had to explain a death in the family - pet or human - to the five and under crowd? Do you have any advice or tips? Our girl sort of gets it, but still doesn't really get it. My main concern right now is that her not getting it gets her dad upset because it makes him continuously think about the loss.
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