Bittersweet: the New Routine

Last Monday, I started back at work full-time.  We had a truly lovely weekend together as a family.  Fiance' was off Friday through Sunday, and we spent time with extended family, had a date night, saw old friends, and got dressed up and attended Easter Mass.  It was exactly the type of weekend I needed before completely changing our routine. 

Everything is different.  The physical place where I work is different because the other building is getting renovated; the drive to work is a totally different route because of where daycare is located (but I actually feel safer taking this new route); not spending the majority of everyday with my Sweet Pea has been an adjustment; the routine at home is different because so much time is spent getting ready for work, but thankfully it's not been as militant as I was anticipating.

We've survived the first week.  She's happy at daycare, so we're happy.  Some friends have said that I'll never get over leaving her everyday, others say it takes a few weeks to a few months.  Thankfully, I get lots of vacation time with federal holidays so time won't drag on too long before a day off pops up.

It's a good feeling knowing I'm contributing to our family's financial well-being again.  I know that was a bit stressful for fiance'; however, I'm so thankful we were able to afford me staying home with Little Love for twelve weeks, even though I was getting stir crazy for a bit in there.  It is so hard to leave her every day, but it is what it is. We'll eventually even things out with money as I start getting paid again. Being a parent really puts things in perspective.  Quality time with those I love is much more important to me than anything else in this world!

Reflections on the First Two Months

Is there such a thing as postpartum nesting? Or is it just spring (fever) cleaning?  I want to clean things out, donate, and return items to friends who wanted their borrowed baby things back or are things we couldn't use. Granted, our place is small, but I still want to declutter and clean out even though it won't really give us any more space.  In the same vain, I'm not getting rid of any of Sweet Pea's clothes that she's already outgrown.  I cried when none of her newborn outfits fit her anymore as I was folding them to pack away. She got to wear each of them at least twice, though, so hooray for that!  Socks are interesting - she has so many yet they are either way too big or too small, and some that never got worn because they were buried in her sock drawer.  Yes, she has a sock drawer.  

Organizing my clothes has been interesting, also.  I've packed away just about all of my maternity clothes and nursing bras. Some are in the dirty clothes basket and will soon join the others in the bags.  The line running down the center of my tummy (linea negra) is slowly disappearing.  I loved being pregnant, so this is also a little sad.  I'm currently in an Old Navy size 8 (other brands seemingly a 10).  Pre-pregnancy I was an Old Navy size 4.  My actual weight doesn't bother me, but the flabby skin that is part of my muffin top does. Almost immediately after Sweet Girl's birth, I lost 20 pounds.  These last 15-20 seem to be hanging on for dear life.  I'm not so concerned about getting back to a certain size except that almost all of the clothes in my closet are too small for me right now.  I've finally gone shopping and bought some shorts that are not maternity, and today I tried jeans shopping, but I kept coming across ankle length (is that "in" now?) and I'm used to boot cut. Oh yeah, and my greasy skin is back now that my hormones have gone back to "normal". Other than rosacea, if I got any sun on my face, my skin looked pretty good during pregnancy.   

In just two weeks, I'll be going back to work.  In the last ten weeks, I've realized that I could not be a stay-at-home mom.  I need more social interaction.  Daycare is not something any of us are looking forward to, but I've also realized that it wouldn't matter if she had a sitter come to the house everyday or stayed with a relative.  We're still going to miss out on aspects of her development.  To be blunt, it sucks.  Maybe working part-time would be ideal, but financially it is not an option.  And then there's the whole argument about working to pay for daycare.  She's already a social butterfly, however, so she'll do just fine.  We've never been apart for more than a few hours, though, since conception, so it will be especially hard on me to leave her for 9 hours a day.  Life will be very regimented once I'm back at work, which I'm also not looking forward to.  Routines for getting ready for work, both at night and in the morning, will be in place and weekends will be the only time we really get to relax.  Even then, her dad's work schedule can be wonky so we won't always get family time.  

We've figured out that pregnancy is the cheapest time of this whole process.  There are no diapers or formula to buy, no daycare to pay for, and no feminine products to buy either.  Most baby clothes and needs are given as gifts or loaned, so that's another money saver.  Oh, and there's no wine to be bought either, for obvious reasons.  

Despite the probable negative tone this post has, we love our tiny dancer more than anything and we are enjoying being parents.  It is a lot tougher than we would have guessed, but she makes it a lot easier than it could be because she's so sweet and adorable.  She also give us long stretches of sleep during the night - usually 7 hours.  When she got her two month shots, she slept a solid 10 hours!  We couldn't believe it, and were so grateful.  It is nice to enjoy a glass of wine or have a beer in the evenings again, and it's been great getting outside more on these lovely sunny days to go for a walk/stroller ride.  A lot happens quickly in a child's life.  It's amazing and incredible, and we're doing everything we can to keep up!