This is a very sensitive subject. Please remember that this post is what's right for me and my baby and our family and may not be what you would do for your child and your family. That being said, I welcome comments and feedback on your experience and encourage discussion, just as I do with any other post.
So many things I read and so many people warned me to not get upset if my birth plan didn't happen for this baby. In fact, it's said the birth plan you make for your first child will likely be what happens for your second child. Well, that's not entirely true. Other than her arriving a week ahead of schedule, things went pretty close to my birth plan. I was open to changing it if necessary, but thankfully it wasn't. What did not go according to plan was breastfeeding.
Our daughter is now just over a month old. While in the hospital, the lactation consultants came around every day to check how feeding was going and gave advice. The nurses would always comment, "oh, she has a great latch". Foolishly, I believed that meant things would be simple. Once we got home, breastfeeding was quite challenging. Baby girl would keep falling asleep while feeding, and I had no idea if she was getting enough to eat. The three of us went to see the lactation consultants twice. The first time was fine. Milk was coming in, the engorgement got worked out, they gave us lots of samples of formula just in case, and while there was mild concern baby was losing weight, it was also expected since all newborns do that. I was told to start taking Fenugreek to help increase production and try out a pumping schedule to get more milk in faster.
The next appointment was a recommended follow-up a week later. Still had a sleepy eater, but milk was in and I was able to pump a little bit at home and see what I was really producing. Here's when the crazy advice started. Baby had lost more weight, even though it was still expected since she was only a week and a half old, so the lactation consultant recommended getting a prescription for domperidone, which is $65 and since it's not regulated by the FDA, probably also not covered by insurance; having our daughter's frenulum (the thing that attaches the underside of your tongue to the floor of your mouth) cut by an ENT so she could suck more; and alternating pumping and breastfeeding every hour to increase production. We left feeling sad and stressed.
In the meantime, we had gone to see the pediatrician for the first time who recommended the pumping and breastfeeding routine, but with more time in between. It still seemed like a lot, but allowed for a little more sleep/potty/personal hygene time. The next pediatrician visit was only a week later because they were freaking out about our daughter's weight loss. She NEVER lost more than what she weighed when she left the hospital so we still don't know what the big deal was. Babies are supposed to lose some weight after they're born and then they gain it back and keep on gaining! Ugh! Anyway, at this second appointment, the doctor told me the every hour routine thing, and I started crying. How on Earth was I going to feed myself, get enough water (they tell you that so many times - drink enough water!), get any sleep, use the bathroom, bathe, etc. if I was supposed to breastfeed every other hour and pump all the in between hours?! It was not the first mental breakdown I had about breastfeeding since baby girl had been born.
To complicate matters, my left side barely makes anything (I'm guessing because of two biopsies years before) while my right side produces an okay amount, but combined I don't even make two ounces for fifteen minutes of pumping. Babies start eating two ounces of food and by three weeks old, they're eating three to four ounces every few hours. I'm not able to store any because I don't pump often enough, so I've decided that when I go back to work she'll just be on formula. She's fine with bottles, fine with formula, fine with breastfeeding, and fine with refrigerated breast milk. She's gained almost two pounds since birth and is steadily filling out. She's a healthy, beautiful, and smart little girl. Pediatricians say she looks great and is meeting all the milestones. We, as her parents, know she's exceeding some milestones, too.
On WDSU the other night, they covered an Ohio State study which reveals that breastfed babies are more likely to develop asthma, and there were no health benefits shown between kids who were breastfed and kids who were formula fed over time. Lactation consultants everywhere must be livid.
Here's my take on things based on my experience: there's A LOT of bullying about breastfeeding. I love being able to comfort my daughter by letting her latch on and feed or just use it as a pacifier. That's the bonding aspect of this for us. If things had worked out like I hoped and planned, I'd be a milk producing machine and she would get all of what she needs from me without formula. That is not an option for us and I finally realized that pride was costing me my sanity. I am beginning to wean from the pump because it is physically uncomfortable (tried two shield sizes) and the asthma thing bothers me. Will she get asthma anyway since her dad and I both have it? I would imagine so. Supposedly, relactating is easy if I decide to do so later. Figuring out feeding has been the hardest part of raising her so far.
To the mothers who make more than enough milk and to those who have done the every hour routine of pumping/feeding, bless you! I hope your children know what a gift they have in you as their mom. I also hope that my daughter has gotten some benefits from me for the time that I've been feeding her. Additionally, I hope that one day, I no longer see myself as a selfish person who wanted to sleep and stay sane, rather than continuing to provide food naturally for my girl who means the world to me.
