Our almost-five-year-old still proclaims that Santa is not allowed in our house! We saw him at a plant nursery when we were looking at Christmas trees this year. He was at least fifty meters away, but she went into an immediate panic attack, and we had to slink around the nursery to escape as soon as possible. Her school Christmas party was Friday afternoon and when I got the warning that he was in the class next door, she instinctively knew that it was time to get out and get out fast.
She met him for the first time when she was almost two at my work and had a very unsure look on her face. Her grandmother and great-grandmother and I were all there, and I know the Santa. The next time she met him was that same year, but with her cousins, aunt, uncle, dad, and I. If nothing else, she was distracted. When she was three, we took her to Lakeside Mall where there was a nicely dressed Santa and a train to ride. Everything was kosher until we opened the gate to go stand by him for the picture. She waived from afar, but that was the end of that and she would only ride the train around.
Apparently, this is unusual in a child her age, although, I'm not offended or worried. I only know what I know with her. She has said it's his beard, but when her dad and I start naming our friends who have beards that she's totally comfortable with, that excuse fades. The next excuse is that Santa is so big he scares her. That could be at least partly true because when we tried to go see Elmo and Chase at a local toy store a few weeks ago, she had another panic attack. When we escaped into another store in the shopping center, she explained that Elmo was much bigger than she expected. She was assuming that he would be the same size that he is on Sesame Street.
I love to costume and even have gotten her into doing it. We never wear masks, but I have quite a collection of wigs. She's even asked for an Elsa wig for Christmas this year, although, when she was younger, she didn't like when I put a wig on. I think it was scary to her then since she was still trying to identify people and surroundings. Maybe that's some of it, too. Santa is a complete stranger and sitting on his lap to tell him something very special to you, and then inviting him into your house is a huge concept for a little person to fathom. Even typing it out and reading it makes the whole idea sound super creepy to me, a forty-year-old woman.
One of her classmates does not believe in Santa, so I asked her if that's what she wanted to do at our house. She has always said and continues to say that he'll be ok when she's older. Personally, I'm happy to skip the whole lying to her about it for years and just make her swear to not spoil it for her friends. Maybe when she's another year older we can try that out, but right now she is the worst secret keeper and hide-and-seek player I've ever encountered. Do not ask if she's excited to see what Santa brings her because she will most emphatically tell you that she is not!
