Living with Intention

Most of us make new year's resolutions and promptly discard them because we lose motivation.  I'd be lying if I said things were any different this year, BUT I'm hoping that because of what my goal is, it will help.  

Living with intention means that I will think before I act, make a final decision, or speak.  It's been increasingly apparent that our kiddo hears almost everything we say even if we're whispering.  There are a lot of expressions that I personally have used over the years that she has begun repeating.  While they might be funny at home, or not funny but tolerable to us, we also know she would get in pretty big trouble if she said these things at school.  

When she was little, we worried that her dad's conversational cursing (he works in a brewery, and they curse all day long) would be an issue.  He was really good at quickly breaking that habit, but then I turned out to be the one with the bad mouth!  It's still a challenge to bite my tongue when I'm frustrated; however, we keep telling her not to repeat those words here or at school. There was one day that she spilled her water cup all over the dining table and she said something like, "Christ dammit!".  

It's not always words, though. I have been wanting to decrease my waist size for years and setting the intention to eat mindfully and get more physically active are the only ways that is ever going to happen for me.  I notice that if I write down my mental to-do list, including intentions, I am more likely to achieve those goals.  Thoughts like: "Am I really hungry, or am I just bored?"; "Am I just shoveling food into my mouth, or am I eating slow enough to notice when I'm full?"; "When is the last time I got up and moved (my fitness tracker reminds me once an hour)?"; "When is the last time I drank a full cup of water?".  If I can get myself in the habit of mentally checking in, then I can also be more present for my family members when we're all together because I've been taking care of myself.  

Last year, those two weeks that I thought I had cancer made me face reality - we don't know when our last day here is.  Especially now with all of the new strains of COVID appearing, staying in the present moment is of utmost importance.  I want to be more mindful of my contributions to my health so I know that I am taking an active role in my well-being. 

Flying by the seat of our pants is fine for social events, but for everything else, I am asking "what brings me joy?" or  if a certain outcome or choice is "speaking to me".  So far, my husband and our girl have not caught on to this concept in the least. It is my resolution, though, not theirs.  

Self Care is Hard

If I made a mental list from my head to my toes, starting after a morning shower, I would likely still be working on things at 6 p.m.  That's how much self-care I normally don't do so it's more than just maintenance that needs doing.  The work from home life, even though it's just a few days a week, makes me much less concerned about what my eyebrows look like or if my fingernails are filed.  CBS Sunday Morning reported that deodorant sales are down during the pandemic - I haven't gotten that bad yet.  

As I age, my eyebrows are actually much easier to keep up with.  It's just a few strays on the outer edges - the middle got trained to stop growing, for the most part, a long time ago.  Leg and underarm hair seem to be growing faster as I age and unfortunately, also not thinning or becoming less coarse.  Overall, my nails and skin are getting drier - except for my forehead - and my scalp hair is changing texture.  

Over the years, I have invested in many skin products and lotions before finally getting the lowdown from my dermatologist, who set me on the right track.  Of course, I bought expensive products from her which I religiously used for the first month or two and then lost my zeal so they just sit on the bathroom counter losing potency.  I just read that Vitamin C lotion doesn't last very long to begin with, and mine has definitely changed color since I started with it.  

I've never been a girly-girl, but I realize especially because I'm a mom, that it's important to take care of myself.  That doesn't make it any easier to accomplish these things I know I should do, though.  Back to this morning: I showered, put the expensive (and probably expired) serums on my face, and trimmed and filed my fingernails.  What I didn't get around to was exfoliating my hands and elbows, putting lotion on my appendages, and most certainly not painting my fingernails a new color.  The main reason I got to do the few things I did do is that my mother-in-law kept our kid for us the whole weekend.  On a school morning, the only way I may get around to lotioning my face is if I spend an extra half hour back at home after carline.  

I know I'm not alone in this struggle, but how are we supposed to keep up with all the things our skin and body needs without sacrificing a significant amount of time?  Even if I would work from home every day or from here on out, I know that I'm just not disciplined enough to make any of this a habit.  The same can be said for any kind of fitness routine.  I need to get 30 minutes of exercise every day, and I know that it doesn't have to be all at once, which makes it even easier to accomplish, but I still don't do it.  It's one of those things that I hope my daughter does much better at than I do when she grows up, but setting the example for her is important, too.