Family

Some may find it hokey, but I do enjoy reading people's Facebook posts about what they are thankful for. This year, I am thankful for my wonderful and amazing life partner - my fiance', our sweet little budding family, our healthy little one who's trying so hard everyday to break out of the womb (she's so active in there!), and our loving and supportive families and friends.  Those are the top things on the list.  Of course, the list could be longer if I'd name every single thing.   

I was thinking of saving this post idea for Christmas, but it holds as much meaning today, on Thanksgiving, as it would at Christmas or Easter or any other "family" holiday.  My fiance' and I are in our mid-thirties.  This is our first child that we are expecting.  For over a decade, I exaggerate not, I dreamt of having a man like my fiance' as my life partner, having my own children, and spending the holidays with a large group of family and friends.  Having all of these dreams finally come true this year and last brings such  incredible feelings of warmth, happiness and love.  The ideal and idea of having my own family that I helped create is an indescribable one, but wonderful (that's just not a big enough word).  Whether you are a parent or grandparent or godparent, etc., I'm sure you can relate on some level. The family centered holidays hold so much meaning for me now, whereas before, Halloween and Mardi Gras were my favorites. 

I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving!

Cold Snap

It's finally starting to feel seasonal out and we'll have a chilly Thanksgiving for once!  Unfortunately, the flip flop in weather combined with lack of sleep over the course of a couple of weeks (thanks to "hot flashes" during the night from baby having a party in the womb and hormones), plus the lowered immune system and swelling that accompany being pregnant have caused a sore throat and stuffed and runny nose.  Ugh!  Now the inability to sleep for more than five hours a night continues since I can't breathe.  

I did finally get the flu shot the other day, though.  It took some convincing because I usually feel awful after receiving one, but since fiance' had the same symptoms I have now, the other day, I decided it would be best to ward off anything more serious.  Not sure if this is standard practice for expectant mothers, but Walgreen's has a preservative free flu shot just for us.  Despite my bout with the allergy/sinus issues at the moment, I will say that the intense arm soreness and flu-like symptoms I typically feel after getting the flu shot from work every year are non-existent.  Go, Walgreen's!

To be fair, and to hopefully ease any other first time mommy's fears that I may have just caused, I do already have a compromised immune system thanks to chronic allergies.  Every year I get a ramped-up allergy/sinus infection around the holidays.  This is probably just that again, but more complicated and annoying since I'm pregnant; complicated because pregnant women can't take much medicine.  Rest, clear fluids, and laughter are the best medicine anyway, right?

The Book List

There are so many books out there to read, forums, apps for your cell phone, advice from friends and family members, and as covered before, advice from strangers, too.  With so many sources to choose from, to listen to or ignore, I thought I'd give you recommendations that I've felt were the most helpful to us.

Although there are many followers of Heidi Murkoff's What to Expect When You're Expecting, I found it to be too much information, therefore, too many ways to make me worry.  It's all what happened to her, not what happens to everyone, which is hard to remember when you're doing this for the first time.  I did read all of Jenny McCarthy's book, Belly Laughs, mostly for entertainment purposes, but it also caused some nightmares and wonky concerns about things have not happened to me in my pregnancy or in my relationship with my spouse.  I also tried a French parenting book, French Twist by Catherine Crawford, that was interesting at first - did you know that France provides government assistance for daycare for all mothers no matter income level?  or that French mothers are all given 16 weeks of maternity leave for each child (rather than the 12 we get here)?  - but then got monotonous with the author's French friends and the rich Brooklyn-ites that she hung out with, and so on.  I didn't finish the book.

Point is, find whatever works for you.  There are several green mommy books, personal accounts, and medical information books to choose from, just to name a few genres.  You just may have to try a few different kinds to see what feels best for you and how you absorb information.  Good luck!

Phone App

It's My Body and I Can Cry if I Want To

Back when we weren't sure, and then when we had just found out about being pregnant, I was so bloated after every meal! That's why I thought I was experiencing IBS or had some other stomach ailment.  I didn't just have the "just ate too many donuts" look that you read about.  It was true discomfort, plus hoping people didn't notice, plus some tummy nausea.  Looking back on that, it's amusing how little I was showing at the time.  When I'd get upset, though (yay, crazy hormones!), I thought I was so huge! No lie, ask my fiance' how many times I referred to myself as being horribly out of proportion.  I was terrible to myself.

Now I'm nearing the end.  Looking down is one thing, but seeing how far my belly sticks out in a mirror blows my mind.  It makes me happy though because there's no doubt I'm pregnant, and I know our beautiful little baby is growing in there.  Standing up straight, I can no longer see my feet.  Of course, you can cheat and bend over, but that doesn't count.  Or if it makes you feel better, it does count.  You're entitled to feel whatever you want about your body because it's yours.  

So far, I think I've gained about 25 lbs.  Everyone says, "It's all baby".  It is, thankfully, but I do still wonder if I'll be the same size I used to be one day.  When I pull on my maternity pants, I tell my fiance' that I feel like I'm putting on my clown pants.  It's just because they come up so high.  The full hidden belly, or whatever it's called, is my favorite style.  The low riders and partial belly feel like they're falling off of me all the time.  Anyway, it's like I'm a stick figure with a beach ball for a belly, hence the circus reference.  It's funny to us.  

At this point, belly is getting heavy.  Getting dressed is complicated and frustrating sometimes.  It's hard to get comfortable to sleep.  This morning, at 5 AM, our baby decided it was Jazzercise time or something.  I woke up because I was so hot - nearly sweating - but quickly realized how much she was moving, thus creating lots of heat.  Part of me wants to be able to wear my regular clothes again and feel unrestricted in my daily physical activities.  The other part of me loves having our baby with me all day while I'm at work. Talking to her, feeling her move all day, and imagining she's doing silly things is all wonderful.  I know it will break my heart when it's time to go back to work and I drop her off at daycare everyday.  I will miss her terribly and feel like I'm missing out on so many things, but that's another entry for later down the road.  

Dealing with the General Public

Most of us have friends who have gone down this road before and we've seen and heard the stories that make pregnant women and moms cringe.  I'm talking about the belly touchers and the folks who can't keep their comments to themselves.  If you haven't experienced these special aspects of society, you are one lucky lady!  Or you never go out in public.

"You must've swallowed a watermelon!", "Is that a pumpkin under your shirt?", "You look like you're ready to pop!", "Are you sure you're going to make it to your due date?", "ooh, you have a headache? Maybe it's preeclampsia!", along with various comments on what you're eating, not eating, how you're eating, etc.  I can already hear the comments for Thanksgiving - "did you eat the whole turkey?".  Save the cuteness for someone else.  I think you sound like a moron.

I will say that it took awhile for me to realize that when I am helping people at work, oftentimes they're sitting and I'm standing, and my belly is right in their face.  I've gotten some strange looks, and wondered why.  I am certainly not the first pregnant person you've ever seen!  Then I realized that it's probably just as awkward for them as it is for me.  However, it does not give strangers the right to pat our pregnant bellies!  In some states it is actually illegal to touch a pregnant woman's belly.  I've had three "patters" to date - two men, and one woman.  The woman's mother scolded her, which made me happy and appreciative.  Non-pregnant people don't get their bellies patted, why do we have to go through that?

On the flip side, there are some heartwarming stories I can share with you about general public and pregnancy, too.  One night I stopped at Neighborhood Walmart to grab some quick dinner items, and then remembered a few other things we needed.  Ultimately, the little hand held basket was not going to get my purchases out of the store and to my car very efficiently, and I was trying to carefully balance the pizza box and grocery bags and 12-pack of toilet paper along my sides.  A mother and her high school aged son stopped me and had me put my things in their basket and the son carried the pizza and toilet paper out to my car.  The mother even had him put all my groceries in my car for me.  I thanked them profusely and smiled to myself the whole drive home.  Multiple times, I've had strangers and coworkers alike tell me to cut in line for the restroom.  A man even told me once, "you go ahead since you're going for two".  That was amusing! Then there's just nice people walking by that give congratulations, which is nice to hear, even from a stranger.

It's not all bad, and the truly kind people in the world really stand out.  As with everything and anything, everyone's got their own advice, their own opinion, and they all want to share it for better or for worse.  In the grand scheme of things, it's just entertainment to get us through the day.  The most important thing to remember is that you are carrying around a little person who is depending on you for growing strong and healthy, and we need to keep our stress levels as minimal as possible - as challenging as that may seem some days - but it's so worth it!

The Beginning

What a surprise it was when we found out we were pregnant! And what an emotional roller coaster!  I didn't believe it right away and still questioned it after 3 home pregnancy tests, which led me to get a blood test from my PCP.  That confirmed it.  We had to defend ourselves to ourselves, basically.  So many questions swirled in our minds, but ultimately we knew that things would be okay because, although it certainly felt like it those first couple of weeks, we were not the first people on Earth to get pregnant unexpectedly.

Let me take this story back a big step: once we found out that we were pregnant, it explained a lot of crazy mood swings and extreme emotional reactions, tummy issues, and heat-filled sleepless nights.  I was toying with the idea of going to see my PCP anyway because of the night sweats and tummy troubles.  Even when I went to take the blood test for pregnancy, I was 50/50 about what the results might say.  Surely, these symptoms were related to something else, like maybe my thyroid was off, or I had IBS.  Nope, it was all because I was pregnant and had no idea, therefore, no way to link it to anything I could grasp.

We told our families and very slowly started to tell friends.  Being uncertain how people would react and finally being up for a promotion at work caused us a lot of stress, and kept us mum about things for most of the first trimester.  I even had a sibling of a friend check out pregnancy books for me from the library, worried coworkers would find out before we were ready to share the news.  It was mentally tough those first two and half months, but the day finally came when we could be open about our excitement.

Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to my mommy blog!  There are many mom's blogging out there, and I appreciate you stopping by to read this one.  One of my favorites to read is Kelle Hampton's Enjoying the Small Things.  No matter what you're going through, pregnancy or otherwise, it will warm your heart. It always makes me smile.

I'm pregnant with our first child, and know a few other first time pregnant mommies as well as many experienced mommies.  I believe that while each experience is special and unique, we can all learn something from sharing our stories.  I'm also aware of oversharing and respect the sacredness of keeping certain things private, so each and every detail will not be posted online.

Just a few details to introduce myself to make you feel a bit more comfortable about reading here:

• I'm a librarian and a DIY artsy-crafter.  My art blog is here 
• My fiance' and I are Generation X-ers, meaning, we're not as young as you think we look, but we're not old either
• Our little one is due in about 10 weeks, give or take a couple.