The Drop

I have to admit, the timing of this is making me giggle.  Just a few days before New Year's Eve and we've experienced our own "drop".  This is another term I had been pouring over the pregnancy books for.  What on Earth did it mean, when would it happen, and why did some women experience it and some not at all?  The wonders of the human body and of the entire pregnancy/birthing process never cease!

Honestly, I thought I was having an hour long contraction.  My doctor told us at our last visit that I would start experiencing practice contractions likely anytime.  Probably about two months ago, I had a Braxton Hicks contraction, which was a strange sensation, but it only lasted a few minutes. Yesterday, I was so uncomfortable for so long, I was about to leave work and call my doctor to see if I should come into the office.  It started with being unable to get comfortable in the break room.  That wasn't so hard to believe since it's not super unusual depending on the day.  Then lower back pain really started to kick in about twenty minutes after my lunch break was over.  I took two Tylenol and figured in another twenty minutes everything would be fine. Nope!

Starting to get concerned, I began texting some friends who have had a child within the last several months. I figured they would remember more details since their babes aren't too much older than ours.  My plan was that if the pain hadn't subsided by three o'clock (which would have made the whole ordeal about an hour and a half) and if the friends recommended I seek medical assistance, I would.  Why didn't I just call my doctor right away?  Because we've already been to the ER once with a false alarm, and I don't want to make it a habit, or pay the bills for unnecessary testing.  My texting buds got me through it all, and the pain finally went away at about twenty till three.

At the end of the work day, I found out that a coworker's daughter who is the same week along as me just experienced her baby drop, too.  We discussed all the symptoms - strong menstrual cramp type back pain, difficulty walking, discomfort sitting/standing/walking, increased appetite, much more frequent trips to the potty, and sharp stabbing pains in your cervix (it's shortening/flattening out to prepare for delivery).  All of what I had been beginning to feel over Christmas week, and the experience yesterday afternoon was the culmination of our baby girl dropping.  It is literally and figuratively easier to breathe!  What an interesting experience with such an exciting feeling left behind! Our sweet little love is coming soon and we can't wait to meet her!!

The Trimesters

Thankfully, I've had a healthy and relatively easy pregnancy.  I'm already thinking ahead to having a second child in a few years, much to my fiance's chagrin - he'd like to see how everything goes after our first one is born.  Here's the rundown of my trimesters for you to use as a reference point. Again, everyone is different and you should always ask your doctor if you have any concerns or questions of a more serious nature. Otherwise, ask friends and family whatever pops into your brain!

The First Trimester:  bloating; nausea (thankfully, no vomiting, but tummy issues); hot flashes - generally warmer than normal, especially when sleeping, even night sweats; mood swings worse than PMS sometimes; frequent urination, (but not as frequent as it gets in the third); emotional roller coaster; food aversions (wanted nothing to do with hummus) and cravings (wanted everything to do with macaroni and cheese), general appetite increases (assuming you don't have morning sickness); breasts get bigger - but not right away.  Forgetfulness begins....

The Second Trimester:  just as glorious as everything/one says!  Have energy, no food aversions, healthy appetite, sleep well, life really feels pretty normal except that your belly is expanding and you're finally starting to look pregnant instead of bloated or pudgy.  Time to go shopping for bigger sizes, or for some maternity clothes and bigger bras. Take advantage of this time to be social and get things done, or take a trip/vacation if you can.  You won't feel like it later, trust me. Started sleeping with body/boppy pillow.

The Third Trimester:  Here now. Tireds are back; backaches and headaches occasionally; feet and ankle swelling; so hungry I need to bring a supermarket to work with me everyday to keep up with my appetite. Invest in a back brace - my fave is the Boppy belly support with the built in pocket for heat/ice pack.  Some groin pain, which makes walking too much difficult; and restless leg syndrome, which makes sleeping difficult. Depending on the weather/season, buy appropriate maternity clothes - I lucked out and the majority of my maternity wardrobe has come from thrift stores if you're okay with that.  Otherwise, Target has some things, although limited, and Motherhood Maternity has the most, but is not always the cheapest.  Supposedly Sears and Belk have small sections of things too, but I never made it to either store to see for myself.  Invest in bigger bras again if necessary or if just your width is expanding, Motherhood Maternity sells bra extenders. It's hard to want to rest, but know it's important for me and baby - nesting kicks in high gear! So does forgetfulness - things like last names, or details that previously seemed second nature are quite challenging to retrieve from the memory bank.

Thankfully, my spouse is amazing with running errands, doing chores, and taking care of baby and I. Working full-time while pregnant is challenging, especially during the first and third trimesters mostly because of energy levels.  Part-time seems like it would be ideal, but the grass is always greener, right?  I worked hard to get my master's degree, so I gotta get the most use out of it!  Best of luck to you whether this is your first or fourth child!  I know I've been very fortunate throughout this pregnancy and my heart goes out to those who have dealt with pre-eclampsia and placenta previa among other complications.  Cheers to all mothers!

Know Your Rights

When embarking on a new adventure, be it a trip, a new job, having your first child, or even just trying a new recipe, it's usually wise to read up on where you're going, what's expected, what's involved, and so on.  As I've mentioned before, my fiance' and I are not as young as we look.  My OBGYN records say I'm of "advanced maternal age" - lovely, right?  Makes it sound like I'm in my eighties or something.  Anyway, both of us have several friends who have multiple children.  Our parents friends have grand kids, they know loads of people with kids and grand kids.  Point being, I don't care how old you are or if you've never been married. Whether you're in your twenties, thirties, or sixties, you had to have known people with children at some point in your life, which also means, you've heard things or picked up tidbits over the years on how it all works.  Well, dear readers, you should sit down.  I have managed to meet at least one person who has no clue whatsoever about child raising.  In fact, I think there may be more than one person in this boat.  The sad thing is, these people worked with children on a daily basis, which included working with their parents, too, again leading one to believe that said people would have the slightest clue about child rearing. These people are the inspiration for this post.

Back to the beginning, when you start something new, especially as big a deal as raising a child, you should know the rules.  Yes, there are rules, unsolicited advice, each and everyone's opinion, etc.  What I'm referring to here, however, is literally knowing the laws.  If you don't know your rights, unfortunately, people like the ones referred to above will unknowingly lead you in the wrong direction and possibly try to change how you planned to raise your child.  Thankfully, I was familiar enough about breastfeeding laws to stand up for myself and get things rolling in the right direction without wasting much time.  Here is the Louisiana Law and here is the Federal Law so you can also familiarize yourself.

My dilemma has a happy ending, thankfully.  Unfortunately, I spent an entire lunch break crying in my car and discussing other employment options with my fiance' because of the ignorance I experienced that day.  Pennsylvania has created laws to protect expectant mothers about people touching your belly.  They are the only state so far to pass such a law, but hopefully more follow suit.  Now, if we could just get all the people who think they're doctors that love to say things like, "doesn't look like you'll make it to your due date", to zip it or face consequences, that'd be amazing.

Nesting

I'm sure at some point I heard the term, but I had to look it up once we were expecting to really get the gist.  Nesting is the urge or drive that many expectant mothers get, especially toward the end of pregnancy, to get everything in order before baby arrives. I definitely had spurts throughout the last seven months. It hasn't all been saved for now; however, I've read that at 33 weeks, it really kicks into high gear. I'll find out tomorrow when I begin my 33rd week.

To-do lists, even for small tasks and focusing on trivial things, like getting my fiance' lights for his special Christmas tree and exchanging them for the exact right kind (he was just happy to have a tree and lights, but I wanted it to be just right!), are symptoms I've been experiencing. Then there's keeping up with regular chores, plus being in the holiday spirit on top of everything else. There's baby stuff everywhere post showers, and I would love to start washing her clothes and blankets, but it will have to wait until I have more energy. Apparently, until they're toddlers, the baby things taking over is normal, then there will be toys everywhere.

It's frustrating not being able to do as much as my non-pregnant self, but again, my fiance' is wonderful, and as he reminded me this morning, getting rest is for a good cause.  He's got me on bed rest today while he's out running errands I planned to do.  We attended the Old Mandeville Sips of the Season last night, which was a great event, but I walked WAY too much.  It was painful.  A golf cart or wagon would've been wonderful to ride in!

Home Sweet Home

Being off four days in a row for Thanksgiving could not have come at a better time.  Thankfully, there are only three weeks of work left before another extended break for Christmas.  At 31 weeks pregnant, a girl needs all the rest she can get.  It's hard to remember, but I would say the level of tiredness now is near the level of tiredness experienced in the first trimester.

It's tough for anyone to go back to work after being off for a few days, but going back today seemed harder, probably because I know how close our baby's due date is, and because the energy just isn't there to get back into the swing of things.  Staying home to rest today seemed like the best plan of action ever, although it didn't happen.  Luckily, at lunch, I was able to sneak in some shut eye.

Working during pregnancy is challenging.  During the first trimester, if you're not telling people right away, it's stressful mentally, plus you're dealing with the super sleepiness, bloating or nausea, and physical body changes.  The second trimester is great!  I wish it lasted longer.  If you have vacation time to spare at work, take a trip, get the baby's room ready then, plan dates with your spouse, be social.  I really felt great those weeks.  I got projects done at work and at home during that time. The third trimester, you're less physically comfortable because you've grown so much, you're possibly not sleeping as much because of hormones, physical discomfort, hunger, hot flashes, etc. Getting up to go to work in the morning is not exactly what you want to do after only sleeping for five hours at night.  Plus, I just want to be home with my spouse and enjoy some quality time before we're both so sleep deprived we won't remember each other's names (just going by what we've been told by those who have gone before us).

Only eight or so weeks left to go, though, so we'll power through it just as all other working parents have.  So looking forward to meeting our little bundle of love soon!  We'll sleep again in a few years....

Family

Some may find it hokey, but I do enjoy reading people's Facebook posts about what they are thankful for. This year, I am thankful for my wonderful and amazing life partner - my fiance', our sweet little budding family, our healthy little one who's trying so hard everyday to break out of the womb (she's so active in there!), and our loving and supportive families and friends.  Those are the top things on the list.  Of course, the list could be longer if I'd name every single thing.   

I was thinking of saving this post idea for Christmas, but it holds as much meaning today, on Thanksgiving, as it would at Christmas or Easter or any other "family" holiday.  My fiance' and I are in our mid-thirties.  This is our first child that we are expecting.  For over a decade, I exaggerate not, I dreamt of having a man like my fiance' as my life partner, having my own children, and spending the holidays with a large group of family and friends.  Having all of these dreams finally come true this year and last brings such  incredible feelings of warmth, happiness and love.  The ideal and idea of having my own family that I helped create is an indescribable one, but wonderful (that's just not a big enough word).  Whether you are a parent or grandparent or godparent, etc., I'm sure you can relate on some level. The family centered holidays hold so much meaning for me now, whereas before, Halloween and Mardi Gras were my favorites. 

I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving!

Cold Snap

It's finally starting to feel seasonal out and we'll have a chilly Thanksgiving for once!  Unfortunately, the flip flop in weather combined with lack of sleep over the course of a couple of weeks (thanks to "hot flashes" during the night from baby having a party in the womb and hormones), plus the lowered immune system and swelling that accompany being pregnant have caused a sore throat and stuffed and runny nose.  Ugh!  Now the inability to sleep for more than five hours a night continues since I can't breathe.  

I did finally get the flu shot the other day, though.  It took some convincing because I usually feel awful after receiving one, but since fiance' had the same symptoms I have now, the other day, I decided it would be best to ward off anything more serious.  Not sure if this is standard practice for expectant mothers, but Walgreen's has a preservative free flu shot just for us.  Despite my bout with the allergy/sinus issues at the moment, I will say that the intense arm soreness and flu-like symptoms I typically feel after getting the flu shot from work every year are non-existent.  Go, Walgreen's!

To be fair, and to hopefully ease any other first time mommy's fears that I may have just caused, I do already have a compromised immune system thanks to chronic allergies.  Every year I get a ramped-up allergy/sinus infection around the holidays.  This is probably just that again, but more complicated and annoying since I'm pregnant; complicated because pregnant women can't take much medicine.  Rest, clear fluids, and laughter are the best medicine anyway, right?

The Book List

There are so many books out there to read, forums, apps for your cell phone, advice from friends and family members, and as covered before, advice from strangers, too.  With so many sources to choose from, to listen to or ignore, I thought I'd give you recommendations that I've felt were the most helpful to us.

Although there are many followers of Heidi Murkoff's What to Expect When You're Expecting, I found it to be too much information, therefore, too many ways to make me worry.  It's all what happened to her, not what happens to everyone, which is hard to remember when you're doing this for the first time.  I did read all of Jenny McCarthy's book, Belly Laughs, mostly for entertainment purposes, but it also caused some nightmares and wonky concerns about things have not happened to me in my pregnancy or in my relationship with my spouse.  I also tried a French parenting book, French Twist by Catherine Crawford, that was interesting at first - did you know that France provides government assistance for daycare for all mothers no matter income level?  or that French mothers are all given 16 weeks of maternity leave for each child (rather than the 12 we get here)?  - but then got monotonous with the author's French friends and the rich Brooklyn-ites that she hung out with, and so on.  I didn't finish the book.

Point is, find whatever works for you.  There are several green mommy books, personal accounts, and medical information books to choose from, just to name a few genres.  You just may have to try a few different kinds to see what feels best for you and how you absorb information.  Good luck!

Phone App

It's My Body and I Can Cry if I Want To

Back when we weren't sure, and then when we had just found out about being pregnant, I was so bloated after every meal! That's why I thought I was experiencing IBS or had some other stomach ailment.  I didn't just have the "just ate too many donuts" look that you read about.  It was true discomfort, plus hoping people didn't notice, plus some tummy nausea.  Looking back on that, it's amusing how little I was showing at the time.  When I'd get upset, though (yay, crazy hormones!), I thought I was so huge! No lie, ask my fiance' how many times I referred to myself as being horribly out of proportion.  I was terrible to myself.

Now I'm nearing the end.  Looking down is one thing, but seeing how far my belly sticks out in a mirror blows my mind.  It makes me happy though because there's no doubt I'm pregnant, and I know our beautiful little baby is growing in there.  Standing up straight, I can no longer see my feet.  Of course, you can cheat and bend over, but that doesn't count.  Or if it makes you feel better, it does count.  You're entitled to feel whatever you want about your body because it's yours.  

So far, I think I've gained about 25 lbs.  Everyone says, "It's all baby".  It is, thankfully, but I do still wonder if I'll be the same size I used to be one day.  When I pull on my maternity pants, I tell my fiance' that I feel like I'm putting on my clown pants.  It's just because they come up so high.  The full hidden belly, or whatever it's called, is my favorite style.  The low riders and partial belly feel like they're falling off of me all the time.  Anyway, it's like I'm a stick figure with a beach ball for a belly, hence the circus reference.  It's funny to us.  

At this point, belly is getting heavy.  Getting dressed is complicated and frustrating sometimes.  It's hard to get comfortable to sleep.  This morning, at 5 AM, our baby decided it was Jazzercise time or something.  I woke up because I was so hot - nearly sweating - but quickly realized how much she was moving, thus creating lots of heat.  Part of me wants to be able to wear my regular clothes again and feel unrestricted in my daily physical activities.  The other part of me loves having our baby with me all day while I'm at work. Talking to her, feeling her move all day, and imagining she's doing silly things is all wonderful.  I know it will break my heart when it's time to go back to work and I drop her off at daycare everyday.  I will miss her terribly and feel like I'm missing out on so many things, but that's another entry for later down the road.  

Dealing with the General Public

Most of us have friends who have gone down this road before and we've seen and heard the stories that make pregnant women and moms cringe.  I'm talking about the belly touchers and the folks who can't keep their comments to themselves.  If you haven't experienced these special aspects of society, you are one lucky lady!  Or you never go out in public.

"You must've swallowed a watermelon!", "Is that a pumpkin under your shirt?", "You look like you're ready to pop!", "Are you sure you're going to make it to your due date?", "ooh, you have a headache? Maybe it's preeclampsia!", along with various comments on what you're eating, not eating, how you're eating, etc.  I can already hear the comments for Thanksgiving - "did you eat the whole turkey?".  Save the cuteness for someone else.  I think you sound like a moron.

I will say that it took awhile for me to realize that when I am helping people at work, oftentimes they're sitting and I'm standing, and my belly is right in their face.  I've gotten some strange looks, and wondered why.  I am certainly not the first pregnant person you've ever seen!  Then I realized that it's probably just as awkward for them as it is for me.  However, it does not give strangers the right to pat our pregnant bellies!  In some states it is actually illegal to touch a pregnant woman's belly.  I've had three "patters" to date - two men, and one woman.  The woman's mother scolded her, which made me happy and appreciative.  Non-pregnant people don't get their bellies patted, why do we have to go through that?

On the flip side, there are some heartwarming stories I can share with you about general public and pregnancy, too.  One night I stopped at Neighborhood Walmart to grab some quick dinner items, and then remembered a few other things we needed.  Ultimately, the little hand held basket was not going to get my purchases out of the store and to my car very efficiently, and I was trying to carefully balance the pizza box and grocery bags and 12-pack of toilet paper along my sides.  A mother and her high school aged son stopped me and had me put my things in their basket and the son carried the pizza and toilet paper out to my car.  The mother even had him put all my groceries in my car for me.  I thanked them profusely and smiled to myself the whole drive home.  Multiple times, I've had strangers and coworkers alike tell me to cut in line for the restroom.  A man even told me once, "you go ahead since you're going for two".  That was amusing! Then there's just nice people walking by that give congratulations, which is nice to hear, even from a stranger.

It's not all bad, and the truly kind people in the world really stand out.  As with everything and anything, everyone's got their own advice, their own opinion, and they all want to share it for better or for worse.  In the grand scheme of things, it's just entertainment to get us through the day.  The most important thing to remember is that you are carrying around a little person who is depending on you for growing strong and healthy, and we need to keep our stress levels as minimal as possible - as challenging as that may seem some days - but it's so worth it!

The Beginning

What a surprise it was when we found out we were pregnant! And what an emotional roller coaster!  I didn't believe it right away and still questioned it after 3 home pregnancy tests, which led me to get a blood test from my PCP.  That confirmed it.  We had to defend ourselves to ourselves, basically.  So many questions swirled in our minds, but ultimately we knew that things would be okay because, although it certainly felt like it those first couple of weeks, we were not the first people on Earth to get pregnant unexpectedly.

Let me take this story back a big step: once we found out that we were pregnant, it explained a lot of crazy mood swings and extreme emotional reactions, tummy issues, and heat-filled sleepless nights.  I was toying with the idea of going to see my PCP anyway because of the night sweats and tummy troubles.  Even when I went to take the blood test for pregnancy, I was 50/50 about what the results might say.  Surely, these symptoms were related to something else, like maybe my thyroid was off, or I had IBS.  Nope, it was all because I was pregnant and had no idea, therefore, no way to link it to anything I could grasp.

We told our families and very slowly started to tell friends.  Being uncertain how people would react and finally being up for a promotion at work caused us a lot of stress, and kept us mum about things for most of the first trimester.  I even had a sibling of a friend check out pregnancy books for me from the library, worried coworkers would find out before we were ready to share the news.  It was mentally tough those first two and half months, but the day finally came when we could be open about our excitement.

Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to my mommy blog!  There are many mom's blogging out there, and I appreciate you stopping by to read this one.  One of my favorites to read is Kelle Hampton's Enjoying the Small Things.  No matter what you're going through, pregnancy or otherwise, it will warm your heart. It always makes me smile.

I'm pregnant with our first child, and know a few other first time pregnant mommies as well as many experienced mommies.  I believe that while each experience is special and unique, we can all learn something from sharing our stories.  I'm also aware of oversharing and respect the sacredness of keeping certain things private, so each and every detail will not be posted online.

Just a few details to introduce myself to make you feel a bit more comfortable about reading here:

• I'm a librarian and a DIY artsy-crafter.  My art blog is here 
• My fiance' and I are Generation X-ers, meaning, we're not as young as you think we look, but we're not old either
• Our little one is due in about 10 weeks, give or take a couple.