Yeah, I'm just going to start with the obvious. What is happening?? I know the media is really good at scaring us, especially when it comes to weather, but I'm going to be honest, I'm a little concerned about having an autoimmune disease and this new strain of COVID 19. I make a note of saying new strain because the virus has been around forever, just like the rhinovirus (the common cold). Apparently, this strain is new and has no cure which is why it's taking people out. Am I old? No, but I'm not young, and the person who just died in New Orleans from COVID 19 was only 58 years old - only 16 years older than me. There was not a specific cause of "underlying condition" mentioned, but I'm already immunocompromised with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.
I've been a working mom for 6 years now. When I was on maternity leave, I quickly realized that I could not be a stay at home mom. The whole, "let me just roll with the punches and do whatever strikes me" thing is a little too unstructured for me, even though I do greatly appreciate the autonomy of my job. I'm sure that's not what an actual SAHM does, but that's how I viewed it at the time. Due to school closing for 4-weeks and having to work remotely from home, we'll also be homeschooling.
There are actual homework assignments due each week. I'm not complaining - I think it's a great idea to keep our kids learning during this time. Not that they aren't always learning, but you know, "school stuff". Also, routine and structure. That may help both of us during the next few weeks. We can still do fun stuff, of course, but also we can also spend true quality time together rather than half paying attention trying to get things done on a school night or cram things into a weekend.
Finally, as scary as this time seems at the moment, I do feel like it is all happening for a reason. The "riff-raff" needs to get cleaned out of the universe. People need to reprioritize and get rid of the clutter. We need to see the true value of things again and be kind to one another. That doesn't mean I'm ready to see a generation die off or put myself or loved ones at risk getting a disease, but I also believe in the greater good a situation. My hope is that we can achieve a better work-life balance and focus on what really matters again.
Cheers to decluttering, self-care, and the coveted balance...and God have mercy on us!
Saturday, March 14, 2020
Sunday, September 8, 2019
First Disney Trip: Disney for the non-Disney lover
There are the diehard Disney types who can go over and over again and get just as excited as a kid going for the first time, and then there are the, “What is the big deal?” types who have been a couple times and don’t have it on their top 10 places to go back to. I was definitely in the second camp. I’m sure you noticed that I said, “I was”. Here’s what happened.
My parents took my brother and me when we were kids – he was 5 and I was 10. Our grandparents had been and brought us stuff back and we liked our presents. I had seen all of the princess movies that were out at the time, and owned some Lisa Frank Disney binders for school and some Disney Store things from Lakeside Mall. That was the extent of it save the senior trip Mandeville High students got to go on, which was a whirlwind tour of three parks in a weekend. At the time is was Blizzard Beach one afternoon, Magic Kingdom afterhours for Grad Night, Epcot and MGM Studios (now Hollywood Studios).
Each time I’d been to Disney, we traveled by car. I do love a road trip as an adult if we can sightsee along the way or if it’s a short drive, but I generally prefer to fly places if it’s affordable. Well, my sister-in-law is from Florida and she grew up going to Disney on the regular. Her love of the parks really became apparent to us when she and my brother started having kids. Honestly, my parents, I and my husband wondered what the deal was. We know it’s not a cheap vacation, and we just didn’t understand the allure – kids or not. They have been annual pass holders multiple years and drive there every time. Turns out, my brother is a fan now, too.
Cousins on both sides of the family have been and some of our daughter’s classmates, so even though we weren’t pushing it at home or watching more than “Parent Trap” or “Mary Poppins”, our girl was learning about the current princesses and the classic characters like Mickey and his friends. Sister-in-law started suggesting that our girl go with them on a trip to try it out. We agreed without hesitation, knowing she would be in good hands and that we’d likely not be planning our own trip for a few more years. That idea morphed into, “Hey, do you want to do a girls trip?” and since SIL is a Disney travel agent, we got a nice deal that we thought would be silly to pass up.
The first week of April, we loaded up our three girls – ages 5, 4, and 2 – in the backseat and my SIL and I in the front and headed to the parks! Since I hadn’t been in over twenty years and my daughter had never been before, we considered ourselves first timers and the trip was planned so that we would catch the highlights of each park. Animal Kingdom didn’t exist when I went before and Hollywood Studios was known as MGM Studios. Both Magic Kingdom and Epcot have both gone through some changes in the span of time between my visits as well. Fast passes and possibly meal plans (although I was a kid so maybe I just wasn’t aware they existed) were also new things to me this go round.
The road trip was fun – the girls had the best time singing, coloring, playing games and watching movies. SIL and I got to catch up and have an adult conversation, which rarely happens during holiday dinners. Her navigational skills obviously helped a great deal, and her knowledge of the parks and planning skills in general also played a huge role in this trip being a success. Did the girls get tired of each other? Of course. We all got hot and tired, and mine wanted to live at the hotel pool while the other two were more inclined to shop or meet characters. Overall, though, it really was a nice trip.
Each day we visited a different park. The first day we went to Magic Kingdom and while we were there, they happened to have extra Magic Hours, which helped us do more rides than we normally would have. Turns out, my girl loves rollercoasters! We ended up in the first car for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and it hardly phased her. Every ride we did she wanted to get back in line to do again! Side note: I love New Orleans’ Mardi Gras parades, but the artistry and professionalism of the Disney parades is truly magical and very impressive.
The second day we went to Animal Kingdom. It was a good laid back day, which we needed to recuperate from all the walking we’d done in the Magic Kingdom the day and night before. Another side note: it was a nice park, but to me, Audubon Zoo is so well done that it’s hard to top even with the special rides and characters. However, the Mickey and Minnie visit was the best there out of the entire trip. They were so sweet and spent so much time with my girl I nearly cried. Maybe that’s when I started to drink the Kool-Aid.
Our third day was at Hollywood Studios and it was rough. The park itself is fine, but we were so exhausted from the two previous days that we probably could have all benefitted from a day at the hotel by the pool. By the way, we stayed at Pop Century. The cafeteria, the pool, and all of the things to explore and participate in while you’re there can be a vacation in itself. We did enjoy a late lunch at Brown Derby, however, and got moved to the VIP section to meet Chewbacca, Kylo Ren, and BB-8 because my nieces were dressed so cute. We skipped the fireworks show that night, however, because we all just needed a break. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening by the hotel pool and watched the featured movie, “Ralph Breaks the Internet”.
The final day of the trip was spent at Epcot. I’d say it is still my favorite park, and now that I can drink my way around the world (and have a more experienced palate) it’s even better. It rained and lightninged that night, though, so the fireworks show was canceled. The Flower and Garden Show was beautiful, and the Eggstravaganza Scavenger Hunt was an added bonus for the girls, as was the princess meet and greet in Norway.
Now we’ve made great memories, seen what it’s all like these days, and can go back after saving up for a while. There will be other vacations in between. We still aren’t going to be Disney all the time people, but I can say that I have a much better understanding of my SIL’s love for it, see that an adults-only trip would be a lot of fun, too, and there is certainly a park for everyone. The trick is convincing my husband why it’s worth it. Thankfully, Star Wars and The Muppets will help a lot with that. Also, I could never have planned this trip without the help from my SIL. I don’t know how people go without a planner to be perfectly honest. It’s overwhelming with so many options for everything – from the places to stay, fast passes, meal plans, and getting around and to and from the parks.
My parents took my brother and me when we were kids – he was 5 and I was 10. Our grandparents had been and brought us stuff back and we liked our presents. I had seen all of the princess movies that were out at the time, and owned some Lisa Frank Disney binders for school and some Disney Store things from Lakeside Mall. That was the extent of it save the senior trip Mandeville High students got to go on, which was a whirlwind tour of three parks in a weekend. At the time is was Blizzard Beach one afternoon, Magic Kingdom afterhours for Grad Night, Epcot and MGM Studios (now Hollywood Studios).
Each time I’d been to Disney, we traveled by car. I do love a road trip as an adult if we can sightsee along the way or if it’s a short drive, but I generally prefer to fly places if it’s affordable. Well, my sister-in-law is from Florida and she grew up going to Disney on the regular. Her love of the parks really became apparent to us when she and my brother started having kids. Honestly, my parents, I and my husband wondered what the deal was. We know it’s not a cheap vacation, and we just didn’t understand the allure – kids or not. They have been annual pass holders multiple years and drive there every time. Turns out, my brother is a fan now, too.
Cousins on both sides of the family have been and some of our daughter’s classmates, so even though we weren’t pushing it at home or watching more than “Parent Trap” or “Mary Poppins”, our girl was learning about the current princesses and the classic characters like Mickey and his friends. Sister-in-law started suggesting that our girl go with them on a trip to try it out. We agreed without hesitation, knowing she would be in good hands and that we’d likely not be planning our own trip for a few more years. That idea morphed into, “Hey, do you want to do a girls trip?” and since SIL is a Disney travel agent, we got a nice deal that we thought would be silly to pass up.
The first week of April, we loaded up our three girls – ages 5, 4, and 2 – in the backseat and my SIL and I in the front and headed to the parks! Since I hadn’t been in over twenty years and my daughter had never been before, we considered ourselves first timers and the trip was planned so that we would catch the highlights of each park. Animal Kingdom didn’t exist when I went before and Hollywood Studios was known as MGM Studios. Both Magic Kingdom and Epcot have both gone through some changes in the span of time between my visits as well. Fast passes and possibly meal plans (although I was a kid so maybe I just wasn’t aware they existed) were also new things to me this go round.
The road trip was fun – the girls had the best time singing, coloring, playing games and watching movies. SIL and I got to catch up and have an adult conversation, which rarely happens during holiday dinners. Her navigational skills obviously helped a great deal, and her knowledge of the parks and planning skills in general also played a huge role in this trip being a success. Did the girls get tired of each other? Of course. We all got hot and tired, and mine wanted to live at the hotel pool while the other two were more inclined to shop or meet characters. Overall, though, it really was a nice trip.
Each day we visited a different park. The first day we went to Magic Kingdom and while we were there, they happened to have extra Magic Hours, which helped us do more rides than we normally would have. Turns out, my girl loves rollercoasters! We ended up in the first car for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and it hardly phased her. Every ride we did she wanted to get back in line to do again! Side note: I love New Orleans’ Mardi Gras parades, but the artistry and professionalism of the Disney parades is truly magical and very impressive.
The second day we went to Animal Kingdom. It was a good laid back day, which we needed to recuperate from all the walking we’d done in the Magic Kingdom the day and night before. Another side note: it was a nice park, but to me, Audubon Zoo is so well done that it’s hard to top even with the special rides and characters. However, the Mickey and Minnie visit was the best there out of the entire trip. They were so sweet and spent so much time with my girl I nearly cried. Maybe that’s when I started to drink the Kool-Aid.
Our third day was at Hollywood Studios and it was rough. The park itself is fine, but we were so exhausted from the two previous days that we probably could have all benefitted from a day at the hotel by the pool. By the way, we stayed at Pop Century. The cafeteria, the pool, and all of the things to explore and participate in while you’re there can be a vacation in itself. We did enjoy a late lunch at Brown Derby, however, and got moved to the VIP section to meet Chewbacca, Kylo Ren, and BB-8 because my nieces were dressed so cute. We skipped the fireworks show that night, however, because we all just needed a break. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening by the hotel pool and watched the featured movie, “Ralph Breaks the Internet”.
The final day of the trip was spent at Epcot. I’d say it is still my favorite park, and now that I can drink my way around the world (and have a more experienced palate) it’s even better. It rained and lightninged that night, though, so the fireworks show was canceled. The Flower and Garden Show was beautiful, and the Eggstravaganza Scavenger Hunt was an added bonus for the girls, as was the princess meet and greet in Norway.
Now we’ve made great memories, seen what it’s all like these days, and can go back after saving up for a while. There will be other vacations in between. We still aren’t going to be Disney all the time people, but I can say that I have a much better understanding of my SIL’s love for it, see that an adults-only trip would be a lot of fun, too, and there is certainly a park for everyone. The trick is convincing my husband why it’s worth it. Thankfully, Star Wars and The Muppets will help a lot with that. Also, I could never have planned this trip without the help from my SIL. I don’t know how people go without a planner to be perfectly honest. It’s overwhelming with so many options for everything – from the places to stay, fast passes, meal plans, and getting around and to and from the parks.
Saturday, June 22, 2019
First Post of This Year - Whaaatt??
It's June. I'm dreaming of a beach vacation or even a lakehouse trip. The year is half over and I had no idea it had been so long since I made an entry. I have been journaling a lot more, though, and it's rare I both blog and journal at the same time. Generally, I keep petty and more personal stuff to my journals. Although I can't speak as freely as I'm thinking with this topic in a blog, this post is something that I think is relatable for most adults, and most definitely curators of any kind.
Lately, it's been very draining and stressful to always be needed. It's not even been caused by my child or my husband, although, out of everyone they get the most mind. It seems as though the idea of letting things "just be" is falling by the wayside. People don't let each other do things their own way. Everybody has something to say about how else something could or should be done. The reason why is not important either. We all think we know better than someone else. It could be that it's always been done that way so why change it - the old if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it way of thinking. It could be because you actually did it one way and it didn't work, which certainly carries more weight, but still not be the best option for someone else. Either way, someone always has to offer their two cents.
Idea sharing is entirely different. Brainstorming is awesome and happy accidents turn out to be some of the best-unmade plans ever. BUT sometimes you just need to leave people alone to do their own thing. I'm sort of talking about personal space and alone time, but more directing my thoughts toward the constant barrage of comments people make either to hear themselves talk or to pester you about something. They probably don't think they're being annoying or even causing you physical angst, but that also means they need to practice self-awareness - another trait that is severely lacking in today's average human.
Am I guilty of these things, too? Of course. I waste time and energy judging my next-door neighbors when I should focus on everything inside the walls of our home and making it as pleasant as possible for us to live here while we have to. At work, I need to focus on balancing the types of programs I provide and the places where I schedule them rather than getting frustrated with the "squeaky wheels" who are causing me high anxiety and tummy issues.
If it's possible to suffer burnout from the way society is trending these days, I'd say that's what is happening with me. Seeing Broadway plays, like "Kinky Boots" or watching movies like, "The Princess and the Frog" and "Ponyo", where accepting everyone for who they are, provide cultural reminders that there is still hope for humanity. No wonder I'm dreaming of a vacation - I need to retreat and refresh my mind and my soul.
Lately, it's been very draining and stressful to always be needed. It's not even been caused by my child or my husband, although, out of everyone they get the most mind. It seems as though the idea of letting things "just be" is falling by the wayside. People don't let each other do things their own way. Everybody has something to say about how else something could or should be done. The reason why is not important either. We all think we know better than someone else. It could be that it's always been done that way so why change it - the old if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it way of thinking. It could be because you actually did it one way and it didn't work, which certainly carries more weight, but still not be the best option for someone else. Either way, someone always has to offer their two cents.
Idea sharing is entirely different. Brainstorming is awesome and happy accidents turn out to be some of the best-unmade plans ever. BUT sometimes you just need to leave people alone to do their own thing. I'm sort of talking about personal space and alone time, but more directing my thoughts toward the constant barrage of comments people make either to hear themselves talk or to pester you about something. They probably don't think they're being annoying or even causing you physical angst, but that also means they need to practice self-awareness - another trait that is severely lacking in today's average human.
Am I guilty of these things, too? Of course. I waste time and energy judging my next-door neighbors when I should focus on everything inside the walls of our home and making it as pleasant as possible for us to live here while we have to. At work, I need to focus on balancing the types of programs I provide and the places where I schedule them rather than getting frustrated with the "squeaky wheels" who are causing me high anxiety and tummy issues.
If it's possible to suffer burnout from the way society is trending these days, I'd say that's what is happening with me. Seeing Broadway plays, like "Kinky Boots" or watching movies like, "The Princess and the Frog" and "Ponyo", where accepting everyone for who they are, provide cultural reminders that there is still hope for humanity. No wonder I'm dreaming of a vacation - I need to retreat and refresh my mind and my soul.
Sunday, December 16, 2018
No Santa
Our almost-five-year-old still proclaims that Santa is not allowed in our house! We saw him at a plant nursery when we were looking at Christmas trees this year. He was at least fifty meters away, but she went into an immediate panic attack, and we had to slink around the nursery to escape as soon as possible. Her school Christmas party was Friday afternoon and when I got the warning that he was in the class next door, she instinctively knew that it was time to get out and get out fast.
She met him for the first time when she was almost two at my work and had a very unsure look on her face. Her grandmother and great-grandmother and I were all there, and I know the Santa. The next time she met him was that same year, but with her cousins, aunt, uncle, dad, and I. If nothing else, she was distracted. When she was three, we took her to Lakeside Mall where there was a nicely dressed Santa and a train to ride. Everything was kosher until we opened the gate to go stand by him for the picture. She waived from afar, but that was the end of that and she would only ride the train around.
Apparently, this is unusual in a child her age, although, I'm not offended or worried. I only know what I know with her. She has said it's his beard, but when her dad and I start naming our friends who have beards that she's totally comfortable with, that excuse fades. The next excuse is that Santa is so big he scares her. That could be at least partly true because when we tried to go see Elmo and Chase at a local toy store a few weeks ago, she had another panic attack. When we escaped into another store in the shopping center, she explained that Elmo was much bigger than she expected. She was assuming that he would be the same size that he is on Sesame Street.
I love to costume and even have gotten her into doing it. We never wear masks, but I have quite a collection of wigs. She's even asked for an Elsa wig for Christmas this year, although, when she was younger, she didn't like when I put a wig on. I think it was scary to her then since she was still trying to identify people and surroundings. Maybe that's some of it, too. Santa is a complete stranger and sitting on his lap to tell him something very special to you, and then inviting him into your house is a huge concept for a little person to fathom. Even typing it out and reading it makes the whole idea sound super creepy to me, a forty-year-old woman.
One of her classmates does not believe in Santa, so I asked her if that's what she wanted to do at our house. She has always said and continues to say that he'll be ok when she's older. Personally, I'm happy to skip the whole lying to her about it for years and just make her swear to not spoil it for her friends. Maybe when she's another year older we can try that out, but right now she is the worst secret keeper and hide-and-seek player I've ever encountered. Do not ask if she's excited to see what Santa brings her because she will most emphatically tell you that she is not!
She met him for the first time when she was almost two at my work and had a very unsure look on her face. Her grandmother and great-grandmother and I were all there, and I know the Santa. The next time she met him was that same year, but with her cousins, aunt, uncle, dad, and I. If nothing else, she was distracted. When she was three, we took her to Lakeside Mall where there was a nicely dressed Santa and a train to ride. Everything was kosher until we opened the gate to go stand by him for the picture. She waived from afar, but that was the end of that and she would only ride the train around.
Apparently, this is unusual in a child her age, although, I'm not offended or worried. I only know what I know with her. She has said it's his beard, but when her dad and I start naming our friends who have beards that she's totally comfortable with, that excuse fades. The next excuse is that Santa is so big he scares her. That could be at least partly true because when we tried to go see Elmo and Chase at a local toy store a few weeks ago, she had another panic attack. When we escaped into another store in the shopping center, she explained that Elmo was much bigger than she expected. She was assuming that he would be the same size that he is on Sesame Street.
I love to costume and even have gotten her into doing it. We never wear masks, but I have quite a collection of wigs. She's even asked for an Elsa wig for Christmas this year, although, when she was younger, she didn't like when I put a wig on. I think it was scary to her then since she was still trying to identify people and surroundings. Maybe that's some of it, too. Santa is a complete stranger and sitting on his lap to tell him something very special to you, and then inviting him into your house is a huge concept for a little person to fathom. Even typing it out and reading it makes the whole idea sound super creepy to me, a forty-year-old woman.
One of her classmates does not believe in Santa, so I asked her if that's what she wanted to do at our house. She has always said and continues to say that he'll be ok when she's older. Personally, I'm happy to skip the whole lying to her about it for years and just make her swear to not spoil it for her friends. Maybe when she's another year older we can try that out, but right now she is the worst secret keeper and hide-and-seek player I've ever encountered. Do not ask if she's excited to see what Santa brings her because she will most emphatically tell you that she is not!
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Hell on Earth
Eleven years ago, I became a homeowner. It has been nothing short of a bad investment. Property value has declined, the neighbors have never been great and in some ways are getting worse. I've gotten stuck running the HOA more than once and currently, while I'm an officer, I have my husband handle all of it because I'm so over it.
In past posts, I have complained a bit about living here, but after yesterday afternoon we have come to realize that I have reached the bottom of the pit of despair. The only kid who is our daughter's age that lives around here throws rocks at people's windshields, calls adults names, and doesn't listen or have any respect for anyone - much like his father. Our daughter has lost interest in playing with him, but he doesn't get the hint. My husband and I have both told his parents about issues we have had with him, but it makes no difference. truthfully, I feel bad for the mother. She is in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with his father and likely doesn't see a way out so she stays.
Additionally, the father is "Sanford and Son" with three boats that he never uses, a broken dirt bike, a broken motorcycle, a broken golf cart, and a giant tool shed and a tree house that he built with no permits. He owes the HOA thousands of dollars from not paying over the last several years, and has had a lean place on his property. Again, it makes no difference. That's all on one end of the building.
Our immediate next door neighbors supposedly have maggots and other unsavory inhabitants in their unit because, until last weekend, they hadn't taken their trash out in quite some time. We are assuming that their parents must be in town for Thanksgiving since their front porch is the cleanest I have seen it in years. We had a roof rat in our place after Easter that supposedly came to visit from their place. The two brothers that live there are at least nice enough people. The third brother that used to live there is the one who used to keep me up at night with loud music and parties, one of which my car got keyed at by a guest when I called the cops. My whole car had to get repainted because across my hood, the guy wrote "KUNT" and drew a line around the entire car body.
My mental well-being has been permanently damaged by all of the drama here and I truly hate that we are stuck here for our child's first several years of life. The plan is to sell my husband's place near Lafayette within the next few months and then work on getting out of my place which is where we live. Apparently, people who live near us think I'm a "crazy lady" as a teenager called me yesterday, but I don't care. Maybe that will make them all leave us alone until we can get out of this hell.
In past posts, I have complained a bit about living here, but after yesterday afternoon we have come to realize that I have reached the bottom of the pit of despair. The only kid who is our daughter's age that lives around here throws rocks at people's windshields, calls adults names, and doesn't listen or have any respect for anyone - much like his father. Our daughter has lost interest in playing with him, but he doesn't get the hint. My husband and I have both told his parents about issues we have had with him, but it makes no difference. truthfully, I feel bad for the mother. She is in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with his father and likely doesn't see a way out so she stays.
Additionally, the father is "Sanford and Son" with three boats that he never uses, a broken dirt bike, a broken motorcycle, a broken golf cart, and a giant tool shed and a tree house that he built with no permits. He owes the HOA thousands of dollars from not paying over the last several years, and has had a lean place on his property. Again, it makes no difference. That's all on one end of the building.
Our immediate next door neighbors supposedly have maggots and other unsavory inhabitants in their unit because, until last weekend, they hadn't taken their trash out in quite some time. We are assuming that their parents must be in town for Thanksgiving since their front porch is the cleanest I have seen it in years. We had a roof rat in our place after Easter that supposedly came to visit from their place. The two brothers that live there are at least nice enough people. The third brother that used to live there is the one who used to keep me up at night with loud music and parties, one of which my car got keyed at by a guest when I called the cops. My whole car had to get repainted because across my hood, the guy wrote "KUNT" and drew a line around the entire car body.
My mental well-being has been permanently damaged by all of the drama here and I truly hate that we are stuck here for our child's first several years of life. The plan is to sell my husband's place near Lafayette within the next few months and then work on getting out of my place which is where we live. Apparently, people who live near us think I'm a "crazy lady" as a teenager called me yesterday, but I don't care. Maybe that will make them all leave us alone until we can get out of this hell.
Saturday, November 17, 2018
Death
The first time I had to deal with death was when I was either in kindergarten or first grade when the family dog had to get put down. During the day, he had been hit by a car and injured so badly that that was the most humane option. He was my parents first child. My dad met me on the front lawn after school and told me Soapy was gone. That was my first heartbreak.
When I was in elementary school, my maternal grandmother passed away. It was a very hard time for my mom and I feel like the grieving I did was more for her, or that's how I remember it now. Great grandparents, other grandparents, and a great aunt died before I was in high school. My maternal grandfather passed away in 2009. He lived with us after Katrina and my mom was his main caretaker for years until he passed. That was a tough one to go through, also. The next big heartbreaks I had were when the family dogs, Rusty and Dash, were put down within a few years of each other because of age and health issues.
Just last week, my husband's grandfather passed away. He was 96 years old. Tomorrow is actually his 97 birthday. By the time I met my husband, Paw-paw was already fairly deep into dementia. He never knew my name and I'm not really sure that he ever understood that I was his grandson's wife. I never knew him like all of his family did, and that's okay. In a way, that made it much easier for me to comfort my husband when his heart broke. Although I cried several times, it was because I know what he's going through, and it reminds of me going through the similar situation with my grandfather.
Our daughter is around the same age I was when I dealt with losing Soapy. She doesn't quite understand what death means and she has a lot of questions. Explaining it is one of those abstract concepts that we have to be really careful about what we say so we don't cause more confusion. There was a helpful article on a parenting site that warned about leaning too far into the heaven explanation because you don't want to make your child think that they will only be happy when they die and go to heaven. That's what we were kind of brought up thinking, though, so that leaves us really lost at what to say about it.
Have you had to explain a death in the family - pet or human - to the five and under crowd? Do you have any advice or tips? Our girl sort of gets it, but still doesn't really get it. My main concern right now is that her not getting it gets her dad upset because it makes him continuously think about the loss.
When I was in elementary school, my maternal grandmother passed away. It was a very hard time for my mom and I feel like the grieving I did was more for her, or that's how I remember it now. Great grandparents, other grandparents, and a great aunt died before I was in high school. My maternal grandfather passed away in 2009. He lived with us after Katrina and my mom was his main caretaker for years until he passed. That was a tough one to go through, also. The next big heartbreaks I had were when the family dogs, Rusty and Dash, were put down within a few years of each other because of age and health issues.
Just last week, my husband's grandfather passed away. He was 96 years old. Tomorrow is actually his 97 birthday. By the time I met my husband, Paw-paw was already fairly deep into dementia. He never knew my name and I'm not really sure that he ever understood that I was his grandson's wife. I never knew him like all of his family did, and that's okay. In a way, that made it much easier for me to comfort my husband when his heart broke. Although I cried several times, it was because I know what he's going through, and it reminds of me going through the similar situation with my grandfather.
Our daughter is around the same age I was when I dealt with losing Soapy. She doesn't quite understand what death means and she has a lot of questions. Explaining it is one of those abstract concepts that we have to be really careful about what we say so we don't cause more confusion. There was a helpful article on a parenting site that warned about leaning too far into the heaven explanation because you don't want to make your child think that they will only be happy when they die and go to heaven. That's what we were kind of brought up thinking, though, so that leaves us really lost at what to say about it.
Have you had to explain a death in the family - pet or human - to the five and under crowd? Do you have any advice or tips? Our girl sort of gets it, but still doesn't really get it. My main concern right now is that her not getting it gets her dad upset because it makes him continuously think about the loss.
Monday, October 22, 2018
Friends
The last few days we have been learning lessons about friends. The lessons aren't planned, but happening naturally and nonetheless.
The gender differences are showing up earlier than I thought they would, but I really think that's what the basis is for these "issues". Boys want to play with boys a lot of the time because they're like-minded and can be dirty and rough. Just to clarify, my girl is pretty girly but she's also got a big attitude and doesn't mind getting messy.
Anyway, one scenario presented itself yesterday when she was with a set of brothers. The older they get, the more they want to play ball and run with other boys while she wants to climb, slide, and swing. There was still some overlap play, but she's only interested in playing football for so long and the boys weren't really interested in swinging.
The second instance happened today when we got home from school and work. She thought plans were set in stone to meet up with another boy to decorate pumpkins. Apparently, the comment made about plans was said just to be sweet which ended up hurting feelings when there was no follow through. Nothing really to be mad about as a parent, but I also understand her sensitivity to the situation.
Trying to explain how things work, like different family dynamics and everyone not wanting to play the same game, is not easy. Even choosing words that a four year old can understand to explain the most basic concept involved was tough. I don't know that she really understands, but art projects and the Barbie show on Netflix are soothing enough.
The other lesson involves a furry friend that doesn't belong to us. She had a play date with a cat and has been asking to go back over ever since then. The challenge there is not only explaining that we can't just stay over at this friend's house, but that the cat doesn't always want to have a human companion - specifically toddler - trying to do tricks with him.
There's been lots of crying and pouting with all of this, and my heart does ache for her to an extent; however, I also know she's got to start learning these tough lessons and they will only help her in the long run.
The gender differences are showing up earlier than I thought they would, but I really think that's what the basis is for these "issues". Boys want to play with boys a lot of the time because they're like-minded and can be dirty and rough. Just to clarify, my girl is pretty girly but she's also got a big attitude and doesn't mind getting messy.
Anyway, one scenario presented itself yesterday when she was with a set of brothers. The older they get, the more they want to play ball and run with other boys while she wants to climb, slide, and swing. There was still some overlap play, but she's only interested in playing football for so long and the boys weren't really interested in swinging.
The second instance happened today when we got home from school and work. She thought plans were set in stone to meet up with another boy to decorate pumpkins. Apparently, the comment made about plans was said just to be sweet which ended up hurting feelings when there was no follow through. Nothing really to be mad about as a parent, but I also understand her sensitivity to the situation.
Trying to explain how things work, like different family dynamics and everyone not wanting to play the same game, is not easy. Even choosing words that a four year old can understand to explain the most basic concept involved was tough. I don't know that she really understands, but art projects and the Barbie show on Netflix are soothing enough.
The other lesson involves a furry friend that doesn't belong to us. She had a play date with a cat and has been asking to go back over ever since then. The challenge there is not only explaining that we can't just stay over at this friend's house, but that the cat doesn't always want to have a human companion - specifically toddler - trying to do tricks with him.
There's been lots of crying and pouting with all of this, and my heart does ache for her to an extent; however, I also know she's got to start learning these tough lessons and they will only help her in the long run.
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