Green Parenting

Green as in new, and as in respecting the planet.

Probably about two years ago, maybe longer, I was made aware of parabens and phthalates in make-up and lotions.  I checked out an audio book from the library by Dr. Daniel Amen who talked at length about hormones, things we put into and onto our bodies, like parabens and phthalates.  Both are known to cause cancer.  I read the ingredients of all of my lotions and was bummed to find out all contained at least one of the chemicals.  Parabens are preservatives and phthalates are commonly used in products with scents.  My initial thought was to throw all the lotions away, but then I thought how wasteful that would be since I have so many.  I'm slowly using them all up, and will start fresh with naturally made lotions from places like Green Oaks Apothecary, Mum Mum's or Lush.  There are some things made at places like these for babies, too, but I'm not 100% comfortable using them without asking her pediatrician.  Aveeno, Yes to...(carrots, blueberries, grapefruit, tomato), and Burt's Bees are great natural products, too, that can be found almost anywhere.  This may be backwards, but I am comfortable using these commercially made products on baby because they meet certain guidelines.  

Organic food is something that's interested me for a while, too.  Unfortunately, claiming something is orgnaic is no guarantee it really is certified (from a grocery store standpoint) so buying from farmer's markets is the next best thing at this time.  Fiance' and I are both interested in learning more about growing our own veggies and having somewhat of a mini-farm with chickens, etc. (one day) but without feeling exhausted from keeping up with that, and our regular jobs that pay the bills.  Organic clothing, like Burt's Baby Bee, interests me, as well, but I haven't really had any experience with any of it.  I'm assuming natural dyes are used and hope it's not all made in China or in a sweatshop. Anyone know if it's really worth it?

Biodegradable diapers seem like a good idea, but I've read that sometimes just because something's labeled as biodegradable, it isn't always true.  There is an easy and organic way to make your own baby wipes that are not only good for baby's skin, but are so simple, they don't cause any environmental harm - thanks sis-in-law for the idea!  I was considering trying cloth diapers, but fiance' said, 'no way'.  Some friends said they'd find other ways to be green.

I'm still researching toys for baby.  I'm not a fan of things that are cheap plastic, noisy contraptions that are made in China (yes, that's a big general swath); but I am a big promoter of 'imagination time'.  Toys that are simple, that inspire her, don't overwhelm/overstimulate her, like some of the ones I've seen available through Little Pnuts or Citrus Lane.  Toy cell phones make me batty, but I'm not sure why.  We grew up with play phones and that didn't make me any more of a phone talker (I'm not a big phone talker).  Plus, she sees both of us play on our phones, so it's inevitable she'll want to be like Mommy and Daddy and have her own.

When she's a little older and can stand on her own, I hope to do yoga together.  I've done yoga for several years off and on, and I'm making a point to get back into it full-time again (see future post on anxiety).  Other activities like bike riding, exploring outside, going to the park ranger talks at nature centers and state parks (I loved the one at Fort Pickens in Florida when I was a kid) will likely foster a respect for nature, which her dad and I both have.

Anyway, just parenting thoughts and ideals for nurturing our sweet bebe' who already seems to really like spending time on the patio looking at trees and listening to birds - thanks to TAG (my dad) for introducing her to that!

Bittersweet: the New Routine

Last Monday, I started back at work full-time.  We had a truly lovely weekend together as a family.  Fiance' was off Friday through Sunday, and we spent time with extended family, had a date night, saw old friends, and got dressed up and attended Easter Mass.  It was exactly the type of weekend I needed before completely changing our routine. 

Everything is different.  The physical place where I work is different because the other building is getting renovated; the drive to work is a totally different route because of where daycare is located (but I actually feel safer taking this new route); not spending the majority of everyday with my Sweet Pea has been an adjustment; the routine at home is different because so much time is spent getting ready for work, but thankfully it's not been as militant as I was anticipating.

We've survived the first week.  She's happy at daycare, so we're happy.  Some friends have said that I'll never get over leaving her everyday, others say it takes a few weeks to a few months.  Thankfully, I get lots of vacation time with federal holidays so time won't drag on too long before a day off pops up.

It's a good feeling knowing I'm contributing to our family's financial well-being again.  I know that was a bit stressful for fiance'; however, I'm so thankful we were able to afford me staying home with Little Love for twelve weeks, even though I was getting stir crazy for a bit in there.  It is so hard to leave her every day, but it is what it is. We'll eventually even things out with money as I start getting paid again. Being a parent really puts things in perspective.  Quality time with those I love is much more important to me than anything else in this world!

Reflections on the First Two Months

Is there such a thing as postpartum nesting? Or is it just spring (fever) cleaning?  I want to clean things out, donate, and return items to friends who wanted their borrowed baby things back or are things we couldn't use. Granted, our place is small, but I still want to declutter and clean out even though it won't really give us any more space.  In the same vain, I'm not getting rid of any of Sweet Pea's clothes that she's already outgrown.  I cried when none of her newborn outfits fit her anymore as I was folding them to pack away. She got to wear each of them at least twice, though, so hooray for that!  Socks are interesting - she has so many yet they are either way too big or too small, and some that never got worn because they were buried in her sock drawer.  Yes, she has a sock drawer.  

Organizing my clothes has been interesting, also.  I've packed away just about all of my maternity clothes and nursing bras. Some are in the dirty clothes basket and will soon join the others in the bags.  The line running down the center of my tummy (linea negra) is slowly disappearing.  I loved being pregnant, so this is also a little sad.  I'm currently in an Old Navy size 8 (other brands seemingly a 10).  Pre-pregnancy I was an Old Navy size 4.  My actual weight doesn't bother me, but the flabby skin that is part of my muffin top does. Almost immediately after Sweet Girl's birth, I lost 20 pounds.  These last 15-20 seem to be hanging on for dear life.  I'm not so concerned about getting back to a certain size except that almost all of the clothes in my closet are too small for me right now.  I've finally gone shopping and bought some shorts that are not maternity, and today I tried jeans shopping, but I kept coming across ankle length (is that "in" now?) and I'm used to boot cut. Oh yeah, and my greasy skin is back now that my hormones have gone back to "normal". Other than rosacea, if I got any sun on my face, my skin looked pretty good during pregnancy.   

In just two weeks, I'll be going back to work.  In the last ten weeks, I've realized that I could not be a stay-at-home mom.  I need more social interaction.  Daycare is not something any of us are looking forward to, but I've also realized that it wouldn't matter if she had a sitter come to the house everyday or stayed with a relative.  We're still going to miss out on aspects of her development.  To be blunt, it sucks.  Maybe working part-time would be ideal, but financially it is not an option.  And then there's the whole argument about working to pay for daycare.  She's already a social butterfly, however, so she'll do just fine.  We've never been apart for more than a few hours, though, since conception, so it will be especially hard on me to leave her for 9 hours a day.  Life will be very regimented once I'm back at work, which I'm also not looking forward to.  Routines for getting ready for work, both at night and in the morning, will be in place and weekends will be the only time we really get to relax.  Even then, her dad's work schedule can be wonky so we won't always get family time.  

We've figured out that pregnancy is the cheapest time of this whole process.  There are no diapers or formula to buy, no daycare to pay for, and no feminine products to buy either.  Most baby clothes and needs are given as gifts or loaned, so that's another money saver.  Oh, and there's no wine to be bought either, for obvious reasons.  

Despite the probable negative tone this post has, we love our tiny dancer more than anything and we are enjoying being parents.  It is a lot tougher than we would have guessed, but she makes it a lot easier than it could be because she's so sweet and adorable.  She also give us long stretches of sleep during the night - usually 7 hours.  When she got her two month shots, she slept a solid 10 hours!  We couldn't believe it, and were so grateful.  It is nice to enjoy a glass of wine or have a beer in the evenings again, and it's been great getting outside more on these lovely sunny days to go for a walk/stroller ride.  A lot happens quickly in a child's life.  It's amazing and incredible, and we're doing everything we can to keep up!

Breastfeeding

This is a very sensitive subject.  Please remember that this post is what's right for me and my baby and our family and may not be what you would do for your child and your family.  That being said, I welcome comments and feedback on your experience and encourage discussion, just as I do with any other post.

So many things I read and so many people warned me to not get upset if my birth plan didn't happen for this baby.  In fact, it's said the birth plan you make for your first child will likely be what happens for your second child. Well, that's not entirely true.  Other than her arriving a week ahead of schedule, things went pretty close to my birth plan.  I was open to changing it if necessary, but thankfully it wasn't.  What did not go according to plan was breastfeeding.

Our daughter is now just over a month old.  While in the hospital, the lactation consultants came around every day to check how feeding was going and gave advice.  The nurses would always comment, "oh, she has a great latch".  Foolishly, I believed that meant things would be simple. Once we got home, breastfeeding was quite challenging.  Baby girl would keep falling asleep while feeding, and I had no idea if she was getting enough to eat.  The three of us went to see the lactation consultants twice.  The first time was fine.  Milk was coming in, the engorgement got worked out, they gave us lots of samples of formula just in case, and while there was mild concern baby was losing weight, it was also expected since all newborns do that. I was told to start taking Fenugreek to help increase production and try out a pumping schedule to get more milk in faster.

The next appointment was a recommended  follow-up a week later.  Still had a sleepy eater, but milk was in and I was able to pump a little bit at home and see what I was really producing.  Here's when the crazy advice started.  Baby had lost more weight, even though it was still expected since she was only a week and a half old, so the lactation consultant recommended getting a prescription for domperidone, which is $65 and since it's not regulated by the FDA, probably also not covered by insurance; having our daughter's frenulum (the thing that attaches the underside of your tongue to the floor of your mouth) cut by an ENT so she could suck more; and alternating pumping and breastfeeding every hour to increase production.  We left feeling sad and stressed.

In the meantime, we had gone to see the pediatrician for the first time who recommended the pumping and breastfeeding routine, but with more time in between.  It still seemed like a lot, but allowed for a little more sleep/potty/personal hygene time.  The next pediatrician visit was only a week later because they were freaking out about our daughter's weight loss.  She NEVER lost more than what she weighed when she left the hospital so we still don't know what the big deal was. Babies are supposed to lose some weight after they're born and then they gain it back and keep on gaining!  Ugh!  Anyway, at this second appointment, the doctor told me the every hour routine thing, and I started crying.  How on Earth was I going to feed myself, get enough water (they tell you that so many times - drink enough water!), get any sleep, use the bathroom, bathe, etc. if I was supposed to breastfeed every other hour and pump all the in between hours?!  It was not the first mental breakdown I had about breastfeeding since baby girl had been born.

To complicate matters, my left side barely makes anything (I'm guessing because of two biopsies years before) while my right side produces an okay amount, but combined I don't even make two ounces for fifteen minutes of pumping.  Babies start eating two ounces of food and by three weeks old, they're eating three to four ounces every few hours. I'm not able to store any because I don't pump often enough, so I've decided that when I go back to work she'll just be on formula.  She's fine with bottles, fine with formula, fine with breastfeeding, and fine with refrigerated breast milk.  She's gained almost two pounds since birth and is steadily filling out. She's a healthy, beautiful, and smart little girl.  Pediatricians say she looks great and is meeting all the milestones.  We, as her parents, know she's exceeding some milestones, too.

On WDSU the other night, they covered an Ohio State study which reveals that breastfed babies are more likely to develop asthma, and there were no health benefits shown between kids who were breastfed and kids who were formula fed over time.  Lactation consultants everywhere must be livid.

Here's my take on things based on my experience: there's A LOT of bullying about breastfeeding.  I love being able to comfort my daughter by letting her latch on and feed or just use it as a pacifier. That's the bonding aspect of this for us.  If things had worked out like I hoped and planned, I'd be a milk producing machine and she would get all of what she needs from me without formula. That is not an option for us and I finally realized that pride was costing me my sanity.  I am beginning to wean from the pump because it is physically uncomfortable (tried two shield sizes) and the asthma thing bothers me.  Will she get asthma anyway since her dad and I both have it?  I would imagine so.  Supposedly, relactating is easy if I decide to do so later.  Figuring out feeding has been the hardest part of raising her so far.

To the mothers who make more than enough milk and to those who have done the every hour routine of pumping/feeding, bless you!  I hope your children know what a gift they have in you as their mom. I also hope that my daughter has gotten some benefits from me for the time that I've been feeding her. Additionally, I hope that one day, I no longer see myself as a selfish person who wanted to sleep and stay sane, rather than continuing to provide food naturally for my girl who means the world to me.    

AMB's Birth Story

My water had broken and was a slow leak.  I just figured I was urinating on myself a tad more than usual (was wearing full sized pads all of the third trimester for that reason).  I was also experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions for at least a week, but had no idea that's what they were.  All I had been told about labor contractions from friends was that I would know when it was time.  My OB had told me what they'd feel like once they were strong, but since every woman is different, she couldn't give me a definite description of what they would feel like for me.

Fiance' and I had gone to my OB for the weekly check-up and I casually mentioned the extra leakage.  She decided to do a nitrozine test just to see if it was amniotic fluid.  It was!  Fiance' had just worked a 12 hour overnight shift and was planning on coming home to take a long nap.  I didn't have any plans in particular since it was my day off.  Our plans were made for us.  OB said we had to go to the hospital that day since I'd been leaking for two days already.  I asked if we could go home and eat and shower first.  She said that was fine, but we shouldn't dilly dally since all of a sudden this was a high risk situation - the amniotic fluid could become septic at any time.  I started crying and fiance' was just in shock.  Our baby girl was on her way a week early!

We drove home, ate lunch (this was the last full meal I would be allowed to have until after she was delivered), and showered.  Thankfully, the hospital bag was mostly packed.  By 11:30 AM we were on our way to Lakeview Hospital.  Latent labor lasted for fourteen hours.  There was lots of walking around the hospital to get real contractions going.  That night, I decided to try getting Stadol in the IV, which was supposed to take the edge off of the contractions.  All it did was make me feel high and give me the shakes. Sometime much later that night, I decided to get the epidural.  At that point, I was dilated seven centimeters. Thanks to the ice storm and late hour, it took the anesthesiologist over an hour to get there; although, physically getting the epidural was much easier than I ever imagined.

Around 10 AM on Saturday, January 25, active labor began. My OB showed up and we began pushing. Three hours later, our beautiful baby girl was born!  She was a healthy six pounds, twelve ounces and measured eighteen inches long.  Just perfect!

Updates

Happy 2014 to all!!

Had our last two week check up today.  Now doctor visits will be weekly until our baby girl arrives. Last visit, she had definitely dropped and my appetite had increased as well as trips to the potty all day and night. This visit, I am no longer dilated, have not been as hungry lately, but still need to go to "my second office" - as we're referring to it at work - quite frequently. I will admit, I am disappointed by this week's news.  I thought surely she'd tell me I was at least 2 cm now. According to the online forums, like Baby Center, this is not unusual.  There are still 2.5 weeks until baby's due, and she may go up and down a few more times until real contractions start.  Thankfully, she is in the correct position - posterior and head down.  There's also only one more layer of the cervix that she needs to go through until I'm dilated again, so she's just a little gun-shy for now I guess.  

I am a reference librarian.  At work, a lot of what we do is help people use computers.  Trust me, when I applied for and accepted this job, I had no idea so much of what's required would fall under the social work category.  I thought it would be mostly helping students will school projects, and every now and again directing people to the health or legal resources they needed for whatever situation they're in.  We get that, too, but a lot of what people need is help filling out government assistance applications online.  How on Earth does this have to do with the mom blog?  Great question.  I recently learned that since I am engaged, therefore, still considered to be a single mom, I can also apply for government assistance to pay the remainder of the medical bills, plus get coverage for our little angel for her entire first year of life.  Filling out the form online for La Moms helped me sympathize with many of those that I help at work everyday.  While I have the necessary typing and computer skills that many of these people don't, the information the government wants is repetitive and sometimes confusing.  Thankfully, it was not a long application and according to my doctor's office, I should know something in about a week.

Baby's room was all nice and ready, although, a little cramped.  Now it's a disaster area because we've temporarily moved the sewing machine out to make room for her bookcase and a night table (and to get it fixed) - stuff is everywhere!  It's renewed the nesting instinct in me that had only gone dormant for about a week.  I'm not even kidding when I tell you that my plan is to drag the garbage can behind me as I walk about the house getting rid of things that we don't need or that I just can't bare to look at anymore.  I'll also put things where they belong as I walk.  Clutter has really been driving me crazy lately.

Other than that, we can't wait to meet our little love and hope that we continue to have a healthy and naturally progressive pregnancy.  Cheers, everyone!

Quick Thoughts on Baby Showers

A party for my baby thrown by friends, family, coworkers that love you.  "Oh what fun!", you'll think.  Don't worry, I'm not going to be a sourpuss, but up until the actual event, it's not all roses.  The constant changing of dates, planning around everyone's schedules, colors/themes/decorations - oh my! Unnecessarily stressful.
Who to invite to which shower or at all.

Post showers - stuff EVERYWHERE!  Hardly anyone uses registry. Lots of clothes and hooded bath towels for gifts! Turned down lots of offers on clothes and baby things thinking we'd get them at the showers. Lucked out for the most part, but wish we'd have been less stressed/more open to hand-me-downs now knowing what we got/didn't get.  I am a clothes horse, so too will be our daughter (as I'm sure is the case for all girls).

Thank goodness for gift cards, though!!!  And the hand-me-downs we have gotten! and the generosity of excited grandparents!  And two anonymous gifts we have received from Target - just recently found out who sent them! Hooray!

Both showers ended up being fun, and we've gotten most of what we need and plenty of fun other items to start our daughter's life off on the right foot.  Thanks to all who planned, attended, sent us gifts, and love us and our new little family!!!