Mardi Gras Dreams

I love Mardi Gras.  When I was a kid growing up in New Orleans, we'd go down to Canal on Mardi Gras Day and the entire family would costume.  My grandparents would get a dozen purple, green, and gold iced donuts from Lawrence's Bakery for breakfast and we'd eat on the parade route or in the parking lot where we parked the car.  I went to Endymion for as long as I can remember, every year, even after we moved across the lake.  My dad would load up my high school girl friends and I and drive us uptown to catch it, which seemed so scandalous to those who had grown up on the northshore.

The only time I would want to live in New Orleans again is carnival season.  The traffic and parking issues would seem less of a deterrent, if they'd exist at all, and enjoying the parades on a beautiful day like today would possibly be easier since all the prep and travel time would be minimized.  When I lived uptown in my twenties, I could walk 2 blocks to Napoleon or 5 blocks to St. Charles.  It was lovely.  

I miss being in a parade, too.  That emotion snuck up on me this year, actually.  When we have more space and I can make the time, I'd like to get back into the bustier beading and sashaying around the French Quarter with a fantastic group of women.  I've even got the visual for my future costume in my head. 

We've only been to one parade with our daughter this year - Abita Springs Push-Mow - which was perfect for her first true parade.  She's been to the dog parade in Mandeville the last two years, but it doesn't quite have the same pace as an all human parade.  She enjoyed it, but tuckered out before it was over.  

my Mardi Gras tree

My Mardi Gras dream would be to participate in Flyday again, attend parades like Nyx and Muses with girl friends - that happened with Nyx this year and was great - and go as a family to Little Rascals, MidCity, Okeanos, and Thoth.  When she's bigger, we can go catch the beginning of Endymion on Orleans and maybe even Tucks beforehand.  This year, I'm typing from my bed at home, sad because my husband goes to work in two hours for the rest of the day, and my daughter and I will be looking for things to do before and after naptime.  Sigh...

Toddler Times

No. No no. No? No! Noooo.

All of our daughter's variations of her favorite word. 

Did you have fun at school today?  No. Did you paint at school today?  No. Did you go outside today? No.
Oftentimes, she thinks it's funny.  She'll start out serious but be giggling by the end. Or she'll say no, and then look at you with the biggest grin. She's a ham, just like her dad.

The tantrums seem to come out of nowhere,  and they are so dramatic.  Sometimes I wonder how different her behavior would be if she didn't go to daycare.   I feel like that's where she learned dramatic whining.  I know that's where she learned hitting, but it's also where she's learning lots of good things.  Everyday she surprises me with a new word.  This week she's even saying short,  intelligible sentences.

We Love to Eat!

I'm not sure why, but my husband and I are grasping at straws figuring out what to feed our toddler.  We've heard that they can eat what we eat.  She's got most of her teeth already, and always wants whatever we're having, but there are definitely some things we're afraid to share - spicy, rich, highly salted, lots of sugar foods.  My personal favorites to buy her are Baby Mum-mums and Ella's Kitchen snacks because the servings are individually wrapped; meaning perfect for car rides or on-the-go meltdown preventers.  Of course, I'm still training myself to consistently pack them in the diaper bag...

Cheerios, oatmeal, and other easy to grab items have been suggested, which then seem super obvious; however, any of the prepackaged or even the old standbys are all carbs! 

Then I realized how unhealthy my husband and I eat on a regular basis.  It's sad in one way and annoying in another because we thought we were fairly healthy.  Plus, it's a huge lifestyle change and investment to truly eat healthy.  A dream of mine is to have our own vegetable garden, but we don't have the yard space where we live now, or the right amount of sunlight.  I'm not even saying we have to go all organic, but eating fresh food instead of processed food all the time would be a nice big step in the right direction. 

The other night, our daughter and I were sitting on the sofa watching The Voice while husband was taking a nap (he was working the overnight shift).  We were eating milk and cookies (chocolate chip is my favorite) for dessert.  I had a turkey, cheese, and spicy brown mustard sandwich for dinner, and Little Bit was eating bits of the turkey out of the bag like there was no tomorrow.  My brain kept flashing words like SODIUM NITRATES and HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP as I shared my meal with her.             

Ok, so all that was written about a month ago.  We're a little better, but not tons at feeding a family of 3 instead of 2.  She dose eat sandwiches now, so she's getting the sodium nitrates, but her new school feeds them well, so at least I know she's eating right there.

I've just been told my blood pressure is high so I need to do a low fat diet.  Since we have 10 pints of ice cream in the freezer, and some cocoa dusted truffles (palm oil and probably straight lard), I'm not starting my "diet" right away.  My next excuse will be that our kitchen isn't big enough to cook the kind of food I want to eat.  Always something.  Either way,  buying to feed three is still a challenge because she doesn't eat as much as we do, but enough that we can't keep sharing our meals with her. Send along any advice or tips, please.  

P.S. - she's a total Louisiana girl!  She loves all the staple foods, like shrimp, snoballs, red beans, and jambalaya.                    

Making Friends

Our tiny love is growing smarter, funnier, and taller every day.  She's already thirteen and a half months old.  My husband and I have been married for nine months now and we're still working on what works best for us on multiple levels. 

Being mom to our sweetheart is wonderful.  Going on dates with my husband is something we're still trying to make a habit - we're okay at it, but not great.  Family dates are fun, though, and we do those most often. 

Our daughter's best friends at this point in her life are her dad and I.  That's fine and totally normal.  My husband's best friends don't all live close by, but he's pals with his coworkers and it's easy to stay after work and have a beer, or meet up at The Chimes, Old Rail, or Barley Oak with any of them or an old fraternity brother one afternoon after work. 

Ready for the "woe is me" part?  I don't work in the same city that we live in so planning things after work with friends is hard, especially with coworker friends who have kids and/or don't work the same hours.  Daycare is in the city that I work in, too, so if mother-in-law isn't available, little one is along for the ride, which limits my time out and conversation to her wanting attention and to entertain us.  My friends without children are more than likely still single, which is fine, but at this point in my life, it's easier or more comfortable to be with mom friends.  I still love my single friends just as much, but it's inevitable that I'm going to talk about my daughter and parenting. 

Making mom friends is hard because of said reasons, but also because of parenting styles, stay at home moms (SAHM) versus working moms, the age(s) of your offspring, work schedules, other plans or routines, etc.  In fact, I recently volunteered at a consignment sale hoping I could meet some new mom friends to hang out with.  What ended up happening was me mostly working alone, listening to a SAHM homeschooler mom talk about some issues she and her husband were having, and buying some childproofing items.  All the volunteers who showed up that day already knew the organizers, and had for years, so I was the outsider trying to break into an already established group; not so easy at that type of event. 

My brother's wife is the only regular mom friend I have, but we don't see each other as much as we'd like because I work and she organizes play dates for NOMB.  That's the other issue - play dates are designed for SAHMs.  The one time there was one on a weekend, there was already too much going on so we couldn't go.  To me, weekends are for spending time with family that you don't get to see as much during the week, relaxing at home, getting some chores done and running errands. 

Somehow, I'm supposed to have me time, have a social life, have one-on-one time with my husband, have family time, work, commute, exercise, and get enough sleep along with everything else.  I'm a little jealous of my husband's social life; it's not huge, but it's more than what I have. 

Anyone interested in a mom's night out soon?  Or a meet up with the kids at one of the St. Patrick's Day parades on a Sunday (I have to work this Saturday)? 

My Girl

I'm sure I'm not the only parent that feels this way, but I just think my girl is super awesome. 
Watching her grow and learn is amazing and entertaining, most of the time.  Then there are the scary times when you see your child fall off the bed and watch her neck bend in a way that you're sure would cause serious injury and you flip out and pray she's not paralyzed - and she's totally fine, but you're still freaking out, and she's trying to catch her breath because it scared her to death. 

My girl is learning to walk - she's cruising - and is a really fast crawler.  She's so smart, too, figuring things out on her own.  And some of the stuff she comes home with from school is so funny; like, making the "duck face/lips" when she wants something. 

I miss her when she's at school and when she spends the night at a grandparent's house.  One on one time is the best!  My favorite is when we get to take naps together.  It's a rare treat, but snuggling with her is the ultimate mother/child bond for me. 

As she grows up, I won't be a bit surprised if she's sassy, but I'm confident she'll still be sweet to those she really cares about. 

Last night, she slept over at her grandmother's.  When I woke up this morning, I thought I heard her in her room.  Obviously, that wasn't it.  Really, it was either imagined or my nose whistling, but I noticed how anxious I felt thinking she needed me.  That's just part of motherhood - constantly worrying about your offspring, whether it's something simple, like wondering if she's awake, or something scary, like seeing her fall off the bed....and everything in between.   

My husband and I are trying hard to be patient with each other as we journey together on the rollercoaster of parenthood.  We're also trying to spend more one-on-one time with each other as a couple.  Without realizing it, we had gone for 5 MONTHS without a single date night!!!  We love our family dates, too, but staying connected as a couple is super important for us as a family unit. 

So, that's where we are with life at the moment.  March is looking to be busy.   It's been awhile since I've blogged.  Hopefully, the creative sparks I've been having lately continue and get bigger.  Until next time!

Stereotyping?

Originally written October 1, 2014

So many men think my daughter's a girl. Why just men and why in general? She looks like a girl to me.

 

I thought wearing a headband might help, but even then, an older man kept asking if she was a boy.

 

Since it's always men who make this faux pas, I wonder if society is still expecting a man's world.  That makes me think of Mad Men and chauvinistic males. 

 

Side note: Today I learned that women are not allowed to be Navy SEALs because of certain organs.  Discriminatory?  Or safety precaution?

 

Point being, why are girls always thought to wear bows, pink, and ruffles?  Did you know that in the history of baby colors, boys used to wear pink?  The trend moved from that to all babies wearing white, and to today's thinking boys are in blue and girls are in pink. 

 

I'm definitely NOT a gender neutral extreme parent, and I do love cute girly outfits for my babe, but I also don't feel that just because I don't put a bow on her head every day that it should be assumed she's a boy.  My sister-in-law has the same problem but even more so with my niece.  She puts a headband on her all the time and she still gets questioned for being a boy!  It's crazy.  Why do men expect babies to be boys?  Women never get it wrong in grocery stores, doctor's office waiting rooms, the library, etc.  Every single woman seems to automatically know my daughter's a girl. 

 

Anyone have a good explanation?  Does your son ever get mistaken for a girl?  What do you do when that happens? 

Venting

Between my daughter and myself, I don't even have a full day of sick leave from work.  To make up the time I needed for sinusitis last week, I've had to work both Friday and Saturday last weekend and this weekend.  On top of that, dealing with the general public (many of whom seem completely helpless) is draining no matter what.  I'm still easily tired, and my daughter's cough and chest rattle are stressing me out. Thankfully, my husband is taking her to the doctor on Monday morning to see if there's anything we can do besides her nebulizer or inhaler.  Maybe she has RSV, we have no idea.  Just hearing her cough and seeing her look so tired makes me sad that there's nothing we know to do to make her better.  

In other news, you may have seen on Facebook that there was some major drama involving alcohol last weekend.  Everything/one is on the right track now, thank God!  But here's my stance on things: once you get married, there are going to be things that you may have enjoyed while you were single that can no longer be indulged.  Once you have a kid and you intend on being a responsible parent, you can't party till all hours of the night and come home drunk and unable to remember anything.  Or maybe that's fine with your spouse, but it doesn't fly in my house.  Anyway, like I said, we're recovering and it seems as though everything will be fine.  The situation is making us stronger and better as a couple. 

But then there's always my husband's work schedule.  Let me just say, if you don't already know, shift work sucks (probably anyway), but especially if you have a family.  This week we see each other briefly in the morning before our daughter and I leave for school and work (respectively), and at night, we're already asleep by the time he gets home.  Next week, he'll work overnights and while he's around to help in the evenings getting baby to bed, and in the mornings to help get her ready for school so I can get ready for work, he's so tired and there's not much time for bonding left.  The shift I think both of us prefer he work is the one that's 6a-3p.  She's easy in the morning as long as you make a bottle for breakfast the night before.  Getting her to bed, feeding myself, and trying to get anything else done before my bedtime is a lot after a whole day at work and when it's just you. 

And to end on a happy note, she's taken her first crawl - just a few short "steps" - and is trying to pull herself up.  She loves standing while holding onto her crib or playpen or leaning up against the floor mirror in our bedroom.  She'll be eleven months old on Christmas Day, so her first birthday party is already getting planned for January.  It's exciting!