So, It's Been A While...

If we ever become all computerized and you could plug my brain into a screen to view files like on a flash drive, watch out!  Right now, I'm just thinking about my random playlist, but my thoughts in general are often quite out there.  The last two days I've been thinking about "Do the Hustle", then it switched over to "Hollywood Swingers", and when the read the title of my last post from February, "I'm Not An Addict" by K's Choice started playing and is stuck on repeat.

Anywho!  I've been in deep thought mode lately.  Maybe it's Mercury retrograde, maybe it's because we're sort of starting to change seasons, maybe it's because I'm a mom and my toddler talks about her "best friends" on a daily basis. Whatever the reason, I've been trying to figure things out as far back as elementary school.  The main focus is me never feeling like I truly fit in anywhere.

There was never just one group that I belonged to, and no lifelong "best friend".  Sure, my first best friend was Dominique (we're still friends); then once I started school it was Noelle (we're in touch via Facebook, but that's about it), then Allison (we see each other once or twice a year), then a few different ones throughout high school, and maybe in college.  Now I'd say if I had one, it would be my husband, but it's almost like those senior superlatives in high school - who cares?  It's a term or title that means nothing, at least not to me.

To make a potentially very long story short, there are people who mean a lot to me and who I need to make time to visit with - those friends I've had a really long time who I only see every now and then. There are newer friends I've made that it would be great to get to know better, but never invite them to do anything.

Will I ever feel like I "fit in"?  Probably not, but I'm well liked, and have always been a non-conformist. Maybe one day when we have a nice place to live and can invite all of our friends over from all walks of life and backgrounds and groups, everyone will like each other.  And really, that's the example I want my daughter to see.