Surrounded by Idiots: Raising a Child in Modern Society

Did you ever sit in a bar or coffee shop and get into passionate discussions with friends about politics or the state of the economy?  While I try to avoid confrontational conversations like that with people these days, I at least sat in on several of those types of discussions into my late twenties.  Especially as I got into my thirties, I began to think - mostly quietly, but along with everyone else - that raising a child in today's society was a scary idea.  So scary, in fact, that I was hesitant to have my own children because trying to protect them from so many things seemed impossible.

Well, now I have a daughter.  Her dad and I have a great relationship and we think she'll grow up to be a good citizen.  We recycle, we love animals, we're health conscious....heck, we're conscious!  Which, unfortunately, I can't say is true for a lot of people.  The following examples are things that I have dealt with first hand.  While it would be annoying to my pre-pregnant/parent self, it's maddening to me as a parent.

When I was nine months pregnant I went to Barnes and Noble one evening.  There were some teens hanging out in front, and as I was walking to the doors, two of them walked in in front of me.  The first one held the door for his friend, but the second one (his friend) did not hold the door when I was right behind him.  There are two sets of doors, so  the first time I blew it off and thought the guy didn't see me.  The second set of doors, however, the teen actually turned to me, took his hand off the door and said, "oh sorry....I wish", and looked back at me.  Had I not been nine months pregnant, I imagined that I would have grabbed him by the shirt collar and yanked him back before yelling at him about what a crappy kid he was, what would his parents think, etc.  In real non-pregnant/hormonal life, I'd have said something clever and snarky with the same sentiments as my pregnant/emotion/hormone filled self was thinking.

Another time when I was driving home from work and on my way to pick up our daughter, a car full of twenty somethings stopped in my lane until I got really close with my car, only to then floor it into a parking lot.  They all looked at me and laughed, as though causing an accident or even getting killed was hilarious.  Again, where did things go so wrong in their lives that they have no respect for themselves, their parents, each other, life?  How is a situation like that humorous?

It's been a while since I've seen this family, but every time the scenario is the same. There was a cute little boy in library with his parents.  He was having a good time playing with the activity center in the children's section, his mother was using a computer, and his father was in and out of the library to get things out of the car, or to smoke.  The entire time the mother is on the computer, the child keeps asking his dad to play with him, while the dad looks at his son with disdain and either tells his son to stay put or makes him come outside while he smokes.  At one point, the little boy comes running out of the children's section, cigarette lighter in hand and he trips, the lighter sliding across the floor (how I noticed what it actually was).  This poor child is being treated like he's not important or a burden.  His mother seemed to semi-humor him once she got off the computer, but she was still preoccupied with her thoughts.  My take is trashy parents raise trashy kids.  This little boy would likely grow up to be a good kid if his parents gave him attention, and presented themselves better.  Instead, he's playing with cigarette lighters, begging for attention, and will likely grow up to do something crazy for attention and possibly end up in jail or worse. 

Am I being judgy?  You bet!  Am I making assumptions?  Yes.  But I don't think they're too far off. I'm betting the Barnes and Noble teens are from a well-off family and they feel entitled; the awful driving twenty-somethings could be from anywhere, and it's obvious that the library family is not well off.  Point being, money has nothing to do with it.  Raising a child is one of the most, if not the most important thing you will do in your life (only second to like, finding a cure for cancer or Alzheimer's).  Have fun with it, but take it seriously.  It's kind of a big deal.  Setting good examples and breaking bad habits is hard, and we are far from perfect or experts.  It's just common sense and being aware.  And really the whole point of this post is not to tell anyone what to do or how to be, but that I don't want our daughter growing up in this nation of idiots that we seem to live in.  I want her to be in a society that is aware, conscious, and tries to do their best, even if it's tough.  And no, we're not hipsters, or hippies - just two educated, conscious, working parents who try to do our best no matter how tired or broke we might be.