Making Friends

Our tiny love is growing smarter, funnier, and taller every day.  She's already thirteen and a half months old.  My husband and I have been married for nine months now and we're still working on what works best for us on multiple levels. 

Being mom to our sweetheart is wonderful.  Going on dates with my husband is something we're still trying to make a habit - we're okay at it, but not great.  Family dates are fun, though, and we do those most often. 

Our daughter's best friends at this point in her life are her dad and I.  That's fine and totally normal.  My husband's best friends don't all live close by, but he's pals with his coworkers and it's easy to stay after work and have a beer, or meet up at The Chimes, Old Rail, or Barley Oak with any of them or an old fraternity brother one afternoon after work. 

Ready for the "woe is me" part?  I don't work in the same city that we live in so planning things after work with friends is hard, especially with coworker friends who have kids and/or don't work the same hours.  Daycare is in the city that I work in, too, so if mother-in-law isn't available, little one is along for the ride, which limits my time out and conversation to her wanting attention and to entertain us.  My friends without children are more than likely still single, which is fine, but at this point in my life, it's easier or more comfortable to be with mom friends.  I still love my single friends just as much, but it's inevitable that I'm going to talk about my daughter and parenting. 

Making mom friends is hard because of said reasons, but also because of parenting styles, stay at home moms (SAHM) versus working moms, the age(s) of your offspring, work schedules, other plans or routines, etc.  In fact, I recently volunteered at a consignment sale hoping I could meet some new mom friends to hang out with.  What ended up happening was me mostly working alone, listening to a SAHM homeschooler mom talk about some issues she and her husband were having, and buying some childproofing items.  All the volunteers who showed up that day already knew the organizers, and had for years, so I was the outsider trying to break into an already established group; not so easy at that type of event. 

My brother's wife is the only regular mom friend I have, but we don't see each other as much as we'd like because I work and she organizes play dates for NOMB.  That's the other issue - play dates are designed for SAHMs.  The one time there was one on a weekend, there was already too much going on so we couldn't go.  To me, weekends are for spending time with family that you don't get to see as much during the week, relaxing at home, getting some chores done and running errands. 

Somehow, I'm supposed to have me time, have a social life, have one-on-one time with my husband, have family time, work, commute, exercise, and get enough sleep along with everything else.  I'm a little jealous of my husband's social life; it's not huge, but it's more than what I have. 

Anyone interested in a mom's night out soon?  Or a meet up with the kids at one of the St. Patrick's Day parades on a Sunday (I have to work this Saturday)? 

My Girl

I'm sure I'm not the only parent that feels this way, but I just think my girl is super awesome. 
Watching her grow and learn is amazing and entertaining, most of the time.  Then there are the scary times when you see your child fall off the bed and watch her neck bend in a way that you're sure would cause serious injury and you flip out and pray she's not paralyzed - and she's totally fine, but you're still freaking out, and she's trying to catch her breath because it scared her to death. 

My girl is learning to walk - she's cruising - and is a really fast crawler.  She's so smart, too, figuring things out on her own.  And some of the stuff she comes home with from school is so funny; like, making the "duck face/lips" when she wants something. 

I miss her when she's at school and when she spends the night at a grandparent's house.  One on one time is the best!  My favorite is when we get to take naps together.  It's a rare treat, but snuggling with her is the ultimate mother/child bond for me. 

As she grows up, I won't be a bit surprised if she's sassy, but I'm confident she'll still be sweet to those she really cares about. 

Last night, she slept over at her grandmother's.  When I woke up this morning, I thought I heard her in her room.  Obviously, that wasn't it.  Really, it was either imagined or my nose whistling, but I noticed how anxious I felt thinking she needed me.  That's just part of motherhood - constantly worrying about your offspring, whether it's something simple, like wondering if she's awake, or something scary, like seeing her fall off the bed....and everything in between.   

My husband and I are trying hard to be patient with each other as we journey together on the rollercoaster of parenthood.  We're also trying to spend more one-on-one time with each other as a couple.  Without realizing it, we had gone for 5 MONTHS without a single date night!!!  We love our family dates, too, but staying connected as a couple is super important for us as a family unit. 

So, that's where we are with life at the moment.  March is looking to be busy.   It's been awhile since I've blogged.  Hopefully, the creative sparks I've been having lately continue and get bigger.  Until next time!

Stereotyping?

Originally written October 1, 2014

So many men think my daughter's a girl. Why just men and why in general? She looks like a girl to me.

 

I thought wearing a headband might help, but even then, an older man kept asking if she was a boy.

 

Since it's always men who make this faux pas, I wonder if society is still expecting a man's world.  That makes me think of Mad Men and chauvinistic males. 

 

Side note: Today I learned that women are not allowed to be Navy SEALs because of certain organs.  Discriminatory?  Or safety precaution?

 

Point being, why are girls always thought to wear bows, pink, and ruffles?  Did you know that in the history of baby colors, boys used to wear pink?  The trend moved from that to all babies wearing white, and to today's thinking boys are in blue and girls are in pink. 

 

I'm definitely NOT a gender neutral extreme parent, and I do love cute girly outfits for my babe, but I also don't feel that just because I don't put a bow on her head every day that it should be assumed she's a boy.  My sister-in-law has the same problem but even more so with my niece.  She puts a headband on her all the time and she still gets questioned for being a boy!  It's crazy.  Why do men expect babies to be boys?  Women never get it wrong in grocery stores, doctor's office waiting rooms, the library, etc.  Every single woman seems to automatically know my daughter's a girl. 

 

Anyone have a good explanation?  Does your son ever get mistaken for a girl?  What do you do when that happens? 

Venting

Between my daughter and myself, I don't even have a full day of sick leave from work.  To make up the time I needed for sinusitis last week, I've had to work both Friday and Saturday last weekend and this weekend.  On top of that, dealing with the general public (many of whom seem completely helpless) is draining no matter what.  I'm still easily tired, and my daughter's cough and chest rattle are stressing me out. Thankfully, my husband is taking her to the doctor on Monday morning to see if there's anything we can do besides her nebulizer or inhaler.  Maybe she has RSV, we have no idea.  Just hearing her cough and seeing her look so tired makes me sad that there's nothing we know to do to make her better.  

In other news, you may have seen on Facebook that there was some major drama involving alcohol last weekend.  Everything/one is on the right track now, thank God!  But here's my stance on things: once you get married, there are going to be things that you may have enjoyed while you were single that can no longer be indulged.  Once you have a kid and you intend on being a responsible parent, you can't party till all hours of the night and come home drunk and unable to remember anything.  Or maybe that's fine with your spouse, but it doesn't fly in my house.  Anyway, like I said, we're recovering and it seems as though everything will be fine.  The situation is making us stronger and better as a couple. 

But then there's always my husband's work schedule.  Let me just say, if you don't already know, shift work sucks (probably anyway), but especially if you have a family.  This week we see each other briefly in the morning before our daughter and I leave for school and work (respectively), and at night, we're already asleep by the time he gets home.  Next week, he'll work overnights and while he's around to help in the evenings getting baby to bed, and in the mornings to help get her ready for school so I can get ready for work, he's so tired and there's not much time for bonding left.  The shift I think both of us prefer he work is the one that's 6a-3p.  She's easy in the morning as long as you make a bottle for breakfast the night before.  Getting her to bed, feeding myself, and trying to get anything else done before my bedtime is a lot after a whole day at work and when it's just you. 

And to end on a happy note, she's taken her first crawl - just a few short "steps" - and is trying to pull herself up.  She loves standing while holding onto her crib or playpen or leaning up against the floor mirror in our bedroom.  She'll be eleven months old on Christmas Day, so her first birthday party is already getting planned for January.  It's exciting!

Time Is Flying!

How are we already in Thanksgiving week?!   Last night we had the privilege to attend the Celebration in the Oaks Family Preview Party for free.  It was a really nice experience since it was much less crowded than a regular night. We got to ride the train and see all the lights (except in the Botanical Garden, which wasn't ready/open yet); which is really hard to do during regular Celebration in the Oaks hours because it always sells out before I get there!  She instinctively waived at Santa, and said hey....then again, we also told her to waive and all the other kids were doing it. 

Of course, the chilly fall temps have left us, so it doesn't feel super seasonal this week, but it will be nice for Thanksgiving.  We're doing our typical three dinners - my in-laws at lunch, my brother's at dinner, and my cousins' on Friday.  It's going to be exciting to see lil bit with all of her cousins, especially now that she's getting more and more mobile. She'll roll, or now she's starting to scoot to get around on her own.  I keep waiting for her to crawl because she gets in position and rocks for a few minutes, but she never takes off.  Instead, she gets into rolling position and takes off that way.  She's a trip!

She's getting tons of gifts from my husband's side of the family, and we're done shopping for her, too.  Oh, our tiny home is already bursting at the seams, but it's her first Christmas!  Her first birthday is just one month later!  Her Amazon wish list is quickly dwindling.  I'm not complaining, though.  She is very loved. 

There are lots of holiday events we're hoping to do in the next few weeks, so we'll be pleasantly busy.  I'm looking forward to seeing her open presents for the first time, playing with all of her cousins, and for the family time we'll all get.  My husband and I will even get some time to ourselves, which we really need.  Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Family Ties and Tying Up Loose Ends

In the last post, I mentioned weight being an issue for me.  I don't know that I'm losing pounds, but I've been hearing a lot of compliments about how much smaller I look lately.  We stopped eating premade frozen dinners, except for the occasional pizza, I've tried walking more (mostly at work), and I do 25 crunches once a week.  It's nice to fit into some of my old favorite clothes again, but I've also been seriously cleaning out my closet, which is mentally freeing. 

Also, one of the families I commented about in a previous post, has seemed to clean their act up a bit.  There are now two children, and the father seems much calmer with them both - even sweetly affectionate to the newborn baby.  The mom seems more attentive, and the older child seems better behaved.  Maybe the pregnancy was just that stressful on them before.  Either way, I'm glad they seem so much happier and loving toward each other. 

Our sweet bugaboo is already 8 months old!  A friend commented the other day that her time in my belly didn't seem to go as quickly as her growing up now.  It's true! Watching our sweet bebe learn and understand things is amazing and awesome!  This morning, she put her hand up to her mouth to blow me a kiss!  As she grows, I think learning about her family is very important.  I don't have living grandparents, and all of my great aunts are gone, too; that's why her middle name is my maternal grandmother's first name. I wish I'd have known her better.  Her first name is my mom's middle name, and unbeknownst to me during the baby naming process, was also my dad's mother's name; however, she's mostly named after St. Ann, but with an 'e'.  AMB finally met some cousins on my side of the family a couple of weeks ago, including a second visit with one of my uncles and his wife.  My sister-in-law and I feel that our girls need to know where they come from and develop a good support system.  Extended family is really important to both of us. 

August

Where'd it go?  I can't believe we'll be in September on Monday!  Our sweet girl is already 7 months old and trying to crawl and sit up all by herself!

 

When working on my budget sheet for August, I realized that I hadn't been to yoga at all this month!  I also found out, after a wellness visit to my GP that my LDL is high.  For the next six months, I need to be on a low-fat diet and then I'll get to fast again for another blood test.  Oh, joy. 

 

Over the course of the last two weeks, three different people asked me if I was pregnant again or when I was due.  The first time I was just shocked, although, I knew I wasn't getting any thinner.  The second time I was really upset, and the third time I used it as a motivator to start walking in the evenings.  Well, that happened twice, but then it was getting dark too early by the time we could get out of the house, and now my allergies are severely cramping my style. 

 

I weighed myself a few days ago and discovered that I have gained 4.5 lbs..  That plus the 20 lbs. I'm still carrying around post pregnancy has had me reading about gastrointestinal issues and healthy eating without dieting - basically trying to figure out not only why I'm not losing weight, but gaining.  Is it simply because I have a desk job?  The book that I've really gotten into to help is called Joyous Health.  At first, I thought it was a bunch of hippy dippy fluff, but turns out it is really cool to know how different foods affect your body.   

 

I have not yet taken the blood test for celiac disease, but according to everything I've read online and in books - even down to bowel movements - it sure sounds like that's what I have.  That would explain the weight gain and tummy issues I've been experiencing for a while, but not the LDL.  And no, I'm not one of those jump on the bandwagon types with the gluten-free fad and I've never dieted before.  I've known a girl with a gluten sensitivity and tried some of her food; it's not a diet I'm looking forward to switching to if that does turn out to be what I have.  Plus, husband's a beer brewer, so how ironic would that be?

 

We also need to figure out if there's a connection between baby girl's eczema and her food.  The last time she was getting a check up, it was suggested that we get a blood test done to see if she's allergic to anything in her formula since she keeps getting eczema flare ups.  She's a happy little sprite, though, so at least she's not really suffering.  Of course, I just found this, which says there's no connection to food.  Life, the never ending learning experience! 

 

That's what we've been up to lately.  A few friends have deemed it "survival mode" (there are books on it, though!). Hopefully, September will include more exercise, free time, and a healthier diet for a happier momma.  However, I am very thankful for our girl's and my husband's good health!