The Hood

If you are a Facebook friend reading this, you already know the loathing I have for my neighborhood and its inhabitants.

Nine years ago this November, I was a single girl looking to get out of my parents house and make my own way in the world.  Little did I know that the market was going to crash and never pick back up.

The size and layout was great for someone like me.  Although, it didn't look like much from the outside, it met all of the dream first home requirements: it's near the water, I can ride my bike lots of places instead of driving, there's a small backyard, it's technically on a hill since the land goes up near the causeway bridge, and on clear days I can hear the church bells ring.  

Since then, I've gotten two roommates - my husband and our daughter.  Her stuff takes up just as much space as my stuff.  The hubs doesn't get much of his own, and it's hard for anyone to get any privacy (not that she wants any anyway, but I do).  There's a page in her baby book that says to put a picture of the house you lived in when you were born.  Here's a bland wood siding condo that's just as old as your parents - ugly and no thanks!

Why don't we move?  Well, we'd LOVE TO, but we each own property and both are in the same situation - the market sucks.  The red tape and stalling with the Port Marigny project is working my nerves because that would greatly help property values go up where we live.  Just this evening she and I were playing out in the parking lot with sidewalk chalk and blowing bubbles, where she falls all the time and scrapes her hands or knees.  The backyard is grassy, but there are so many mosquitoes because of the drainage ditch, the woods at Pre-Stress, and two neighbors who probably breed Zica spreading mosquitoes between their trash and unused boats in the yard.

Saying I hate living here is an understatement.  If I could think of a way besides insurance fraud to get rid of this condo and move, I'd never look back.  Our child deserves a full bedroom to herself and a nice fenced in yard to play in that we can get treated for mosquitoes.  We deserve a full sized kitchen and a bigger bathroom to share, as well as a break from the mental stress that living in such tight quarters with no privacy causes.

Of course, we could still get crappy neighbors, be stressed about something else, and still be practically forced to be part of the HOA regardless of where we live.  But having a "sanctuary" to retreat to would be a big step up from what we have now.  So, if you wonder why we don't invite you in or over, it's because it's impossible to keep remotely tidy with a toddler and no space.

Bag o' Fun

You know those moments - when you think to yourself, "Ugh, I just sounded like my mom/dad/parents!".  Last night I was trying to catch up with a friend on the phone who I hadn't talked to in months.  LP had diarrhea diaper number three, was actin' a fool/being a toddler, and I was tired. Once I finally was able to call friend back and have a mostly uninterrupted conversation with her, all I wanted was a bottle of wine (yes, a bottle) and to go to bed.

The hubs and I took a much needed vacation last week to Ojai, California.  Google it if you haven't heard of it (you probably haven't) - it's quite lovely.  Sunny skies all day everyday, low humidity, relaxing by the pool, quiet, loads of sweet, juicy citrus everywhere, we rode bikes everyday and everywhere....anyway, since we've been back all I've wanted to do is read, relax, and ride my bike.

I have a cute felted bag from Barnes and Noble that is being used as a holder for my relaxation activities, like brush tip markers, fine-line color pens, coloring books, an embroidery kit, some magazines, etc.  This morning, with the school and library closings, I was excited to get up and have some me time.  I only got as far as the first paragraph of this blog, but I still have hope for the rest of the day.  Coloring should be doable with LP around, and hopefully she naps later so I can read.

Anyway, my bag o'fun gives me hope that one day, sometime, I'll be able to have a moment to myself to restore and relax and pretend I'm still on vacation.

MYOB

We seem to have moved on from, "when are you due?"/"are you pregnant?" to "when are you going to have another one?". My first answer to this is, "it's not your business", but since that's rude to say (insert eye roll for the irony) let me spell it out for you...we're not going to. 

Why is the house a trainwreck? Why can't we just go to the store for the reason we went to store? Why can't we go out to eat without having to step outside with a screaming child? Why can't we just be alone for a bit? Because we have a toddler. 

Good for you if you have the patience to have more than one - we don't. You have probably secured a place in heaven for yourself.

Maybe it's because we're both first borns, but having constant unfinished projects laying around drives us nuts. I admire the daycare workers and school teachers because I don't know how they do it all day every day. I tried it for five years; it wasn't for me.  I feel like a failure on weekends and my days off because I get so frustrated with our daughter and need multiple mental breaks. I tell myself I should be able to handle this better and I'm actually a chicken because I went back to work and couldn't handle being a stay at home mom.  She's a typical toddler and well behaved the majority of the time, too!

Did I ever think I'd just have one? Of course not. I thought I'd have two or three, really.  At the end of college, when I first started to believe I'd be single forever, I was going to adopt five different kids from different backgrounds to ensure they grew up with love and respect for other cultures and races. Those were my idealist days.

It's no secret that I've dealt with anxiety in the past, that I have kidney issues (yes, I have a tumor, but it's benign), and a cyst on one of my fallopian tubes, or that I'm two weeks away from my 38th birthday (not exactly bounding with energy anymore). It's also not widely advertised that LP wasn't planned, but if you can do math, you can figure it out.  We also have outgrown our home, and desperately need to move, but can't at the moment.

That being said, if we had another surprise we'd be happy.  We wouldn't trade our girl for anything in the world.  She is awesome beyond words, and she'd likely love being a big sister. But that's not our plan, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop asking.

Get it Together Already!

That's what I tell myself on a pretty regular basis.  LP is almost two and a half, yet I still can't seem to grasp the art of packing a diaper bag - whether it's having enough diapers in reserve, refilling the wipes, having snacks or a drink or even an empty drinking vessel for her to fill with tap water.

She hates having her face wiped, her hair brushed, and her nails cut, but she'll copy me on everything else right down to the hand gesture or tune I mindlessly hum while I'm choosing which salsa to buy at the grocery.

The last month has been awkward because she refuses to sleep in her own room in her own bed.  At least, for the most part, she doesn't sleep in our bed, but she wants to be in our room in her old bassinet that she hangs out of. She's also been clingy, and asks to be held quite often, like she's insecure.

Everything we read says she's testing her independence, which is obvious in play and the majority of awake time; however, it's completely opposite during night time when we're trying to get her to bed. She also had been a great sleeper from two months old until about a month ago (she's 28 months now).  To be fair, she did have an ear infection, but now we've let her strong will wear us down and we're all sleep deprived.

Talking with other parents has helped ease my mind a bit, although, when we're in the trenches at home - aka during a tantrum or meltdown - it's hard to remember that we're not alone in this tumultuous adventure called parenthood.  To adapt a phrase from Almond Joy and Mounds: sometimes it makes you feel like you're nuts, sometimes it's fun.

Mardi Gras Dreams

I love Mardi Gras.  When I was a kid growing up in New Orleans, we'd go down to Canal on Mardi Gras Day and the entire family would costume.  My grandparents would get a dozen purple, green, and gold iced donuts from Lawrence's Bakery for breakfast and we'd eat on the parade route or in the parking lot where we parked the car.  I went to Endymion for as long as I can remember, every year, even after we moved across the lake.  My dad would load up my high school girl friends and I and drive us uptown to catch it, which seemed so scandalous to those who had grown up on the northshore.

The only time I would want to live in New Orleans again is carnival season.  The traffic and parking issues would seem less of a deterrent, if they'd exist at all, and enjoying the parades on a beautiful day like today would possibly be easier since all the prep and travel time would be minimized.  When I lived uptown in my twenties, I could walk 2 blocks to Napoleon or 5 blocks to St. Charles.  It was lovely.  

I miss being in a parade, too.  That emotion snuck up on me this year, actually.  When we have more space and I can make the time, I'd like to get back into the bustier beading and sashaying around the French Quarter with a fantastic group of women.  I've even got the visual for my future costume in my head. 

We've only been to one parade with our daughter this year - Abita Springs Push-Mow - which was perfect for her first true parade.  She's been to the dog parade in Mandeville the last two years, but it doesn't quite have the same pace as an all human parade.  She enjoyed it, but tuckered out before it was over.  

my Mardi Gras tree

My Mardi Gras dream would be to participate in Flyday again, attend parades like Nyx and Muses with girl friends - that happened with Nyx this year and was great - and go as a family to Little Rascals, MidCity, Okeanos, and Thoth.  When she's bigger, we can go catch the beginning of Endymion on Orleans and maybe even Tucks beforehand.  This year, I'm typing from my bed at home, sad because my husband goes to work in two hours for the rest of the day, and my daughter and I will be looking for things to do before and after naptime.  Sigh...

Toddler Times

No. No no. No? No! Noooo.

All of our daughter's variations of her favorite word. 

Did you have fun at school today?  No. Did you paint at school today?  No. Did you go outside today? No.
Oftentimes, she thinks it's funny.  She'll start out serious but be giggling by the end. Or she'll say no, and then look at you with the biggest grin. She's a ham, just like her dad.

The tantrums seem to come out of nowhere,  and they are so dramatic.  Sometimes I wonder how different her behavior would be if she didn't go to daycare.   I feel like that's where she learned dramatic whining.  I know that's where she learned hitting, but it's also where she's learning lots of good things.  Everyday she surprises me with a new word.  This week she's even saying short,  intelligible sentences.

We Love to Eat!

I'm not sure why, but my husband and I are grasping at straws figuring out what to feed our toddler.  We've heard that they can eat what we eat.  She's got most of her teeth already, and always wants whatever we're having, but there are definitely some things we're afraid to share - spicy, rich, highly salted, lots of sugar foods.  My personal favorites to buy her are Baby Mum-mums and Ella's Kitchen snacks because the servings are individually wrapped; meaning perfect for car rides or on-the-go meltdown preventers.  Of course, I'm still training myself to consistently pack them in the diaper bag...

Cheerios, oatmeal, and other easy to grab items have been suggested, which then seem super obvious; however, any of the prepackaged or even the old standbys are all carbs! 

Then I realized how unhealthy my husband and I eat on a regular basis.  It's sad in one way and annoying in another because we thought we were fairly healthy.  Plus, it's a huge lifestyle change and investment to truly eat healthy.  A dream of mine is to have our own vegetable garden, but we don't have the yard space where we live now, or the right amount of sunlight.  I'm not even saying we have to go all organic, but eating fresh food instead of processed food all the time would be a nice big step in the right direction. 

The other night, our daughter and I were sitting on the sofa watching The Voice while husband was taking a nap (he was working the overnight shift).  We were eating milk and cookies (chocolate chip is my favorite) for dessert.  I had a turkey, cheese, and spicy brown mustard sandwich for dinner, and Little Bit was eating bits of the turkey out of the bag like there was no tomorrow.  My brain kept flashing words like SODIUM NITRATES and HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP as I shared my meal with her.             

Ok, so all that was written about a month ago.  We're a little better, but not tons at feeding a family of 3 instead of 2.  She dose eat sandwiches now, so she's getting the sodium nitrates, but her new school feeds them well, so at least I know she's eating right there.

I've just been told my blood pressure is high so I need to do a low fat diet.  Since we have 10 pints of ice cream in the freezer, and some cocoa dusted truffles (palm oil and probably straight lard), I'm not starting my "diet" right away.  My next excuse will be that our kitchen isn't big enough to cook the kind of food I want to eat.  Always something.  Either way,  buying to feed three is still a challenge because she doesn't eat as much as we do, but enough that we can't keep sharing our meals with her. Send along any advice or tips, please.  

P.S. - she's a total Louisiana girl!  She loves all the staple foods, like shrimp, snoballs, red beans, and jambalaya.