Carnival Time Thoughts

Hi!  In case you haven't seen all the pictures on Facebook or Instagram (@bluenautilus), I participated in a parade this year!  It's been 5 whole years since I was last in one.  This year, I was lucky enough to ride an art bike with the Krewe of Kolossos which is one of the many groups that participate in Krewe of Muses.  The multi-talented and super involved Katrina Brees is the artiste and mover and shaker behind this group as well as some others, like the Bearded Oysters who also walk in Muses. 

Having been in a walking group for five years with Persephone's Dragonflies and now riding in Kolossos, and getting unofficially invited to be part of Dames de Perlage next year, it's been really interesting to weigh my options and try and get perspective to come closer to making a decision on how to handle 2019. 

The biggest reason I stopped doing Dragonflies is because I got pregnant with our daughter. I've mentioned here and in my art blog before that her bedroom is what used to be my art studio.  There is no extra space for me to keep out a hot glue gun, a dress form, and a bustier in various stages of beading for weeks or months at a time.  I also really like when my husband and I can be in bed by 9 p.m. on work nights.  The moms I know who do Flyday and Dames de Perlage all stay up after everyone else has gone to bed to work on their costumes.  The Dames don't even hot glue - they hand sew seed beads!!  Their name literally means "ladies of beadwork", and their work is unbelievably gorgeous (and lightweight, unlike the Dragonfly bustiers which are heavy because of the glue and bigger beads)!

Riding the art bike in Krewe of Kolossos was perfect for where I am in my ever rationalizing brain right now.  I could still play dress up, but it kept me from being a perfectionist with my outfit because we had to wear black, white, and red under our marching band jacket and hat.  I could do whatever with my makeup and as long as I had the right colors on, I could have whatever kind of outfit underneath.  I also love riding my bike and the grasshopper bike I rode in the parade was an adult tricycle and the papier mache insect was nice and lightweight.  Plus, being in a big parade like Muses was an awesome experience because of the size and scope.  Seeing the city from that vantage point was incredible, and the people watching while waiting to line up was fabulous!  The Rolling Elvi were across the street and the Bearded Oysters were next to us.  We also got some sweet throws while the floats were lining up in front of us. 

Anyway, our girl is getting pretty into Mardi Gras and she was excited that I was in a parade.  Each year, we are able to add a little bit more to our parade viewing. She loves sitting on our shoulders catching stuff, and the older she gets, the easier it is to pack and prepare.  I realized at Muses when I got her a Mona Lisa pillow that all of her bed pillows save for the normal sized Frozen one are from parades!  No doubt where her mama is from, right?  Speaking of which, there was actually an infant who "rode" with her mom in the Bearded Oysters as a little pearl (in the strap on baby carrier on her  mom's torso)!  That's a true New Orleans girl! 

I'm not committing or not committing to anything yet for 2019, but I am very happy with how this Carnival season has turned out so far.  Next year, if the weather doesn't suck and we all stay well (these last few years have not exactly cooperated), I hope to add some more parade viewing to our list.  Happy Mardi Gras, y'all!!!

You're Killing Me, Smalls

I need drugs or cigarettes, or something...she hasn't taken a nap today and this long weekend has been anything but relaxing.  Little pal has a cold.  Her fever has gone all the way up to 103 point something and finally down to 98 point normal.  Her cough is nasty sounding and today she's had insane nose bleeds out of nowhere. 

She's on an antibiotic, but since a cold is a virus, we're probably wasting our time.  The doctor recommended cough syrup hasn't done a thing (Robitussin) so we switched to our standby, Triaminic.  Getting her interested in food or drink has been a battle, but there was really only one day she didn't eat anything at all. 

The crying episodes today have really worn me out.  I'm sure she's overtired and I know she's miserable being sick.  I get upset too when I'm sick for even a couple of days.  She's asked to go to the playground, ride her bike, and go shopping.  She's getting to watch lots of movies, but I think she's also getting stir crazy. 

I've gone through her closet and got a large bag of things to bring to Once Upon a Child now.  I've also been washing all of her clothes and bedding.  The nose bleeds and sensitivity has me wondering what to do tomorrow, though.  My mom even said that if she doesn't have fever for 24 hours, she can go to school.  Usually, my husband is the only one who says that!  Oh, and this morning, she fell out of her dining chair onto the tile floor and hit her head - like she didn't feel crappy enough already!

I truly feel bad for her, but at the same time, I really wish she'd just go the eff to sleep!  Her dad and I need a break!!  We're drinking eggnog daiquiris right now hoping she dozes off watching "Annie". 

Social Media

I'm taking a break from Facebook.  So far, I don't miss it at all.  The news feed was always stale, even if I clicked "most recent". There were almost always more notifications from groups than friends, and more than anything, I was going to lose my personal filter and start saying what I was really thinking to people, and then I'd be the bad guy.

Should I do that anyway?  Well, it took years for me to get my filter in place, so I didn't think regressing was the best choice.

Why people felt it was OK to share their two cents on my wall when I wasn't asking for it, and got snarky when I shared my opinion about a situation that they had nothing to do with is beyond me.  I know what a caravan is, thanks, and I know that any band that marches in a parade has a trailer to  transport equipment around.  I also don't think the people who kept commenting on that particular Facebook post were in the same physical place at the same time that we were so they didn't know what traffic was like, or that the four cop cars that were dance-driving around were more likely to cause an accident than corral the caravan of chartered buses and band trailer.

I could go on, but the point here is that social media has gotten out of control.  We see this with our president very regularly on Twitter.  Whether you like him or not, it's a true statement.  People don't filter and the "social" aspect of social media is getting more rude and even borderlines bullying in some cases rather than keeping in touch with friends.  And the catty-ness of some mom groups is just as bad as the movie "Mean Girls".  Basically, people have forgotten how to be adults and how to set examples for the younger generations, ya know, like parents.

Might you be reading this on Facebook?  I haven't yet changed my sharing options from Twitter and I don't see anything wrong with sharing from Instagram.  You can take a flying leap if it's too hard for you to control yourself by saying, "I thought you were deactivating Facebook".  I'll call you a jackass in my head and give you side eye or a huge eye roll which you won't be able to see because we're not connecting in real life.  Therein lies my other point - if I'm not feeling that connection with you and I wouldn't say something to you in real life/face to face, I'm not interested in keeping in touch with you anyway.

Call it approaching 40/mid-life crisis/peri-menopause.  I don't care.  It's what I believe, and in the words of Eric Cartman, "I do what I want!".  Isn't that how we got into this predicament in the first place?  Or another way to end this post, which is much more eloquent, is to quote Dr. Seuss, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter".

So, It's Been A While...

If we ever become all computerized and you could plug my brain into a screen to view files like on a flash drive, watch out!  Right now, I'm just thinking about my random playlist, but my thoughts in general are often quite out there.  The last two days I've been thinking about "Do the Hustle", then it switched over to "Hollywood Swingers", and when the read the title of my last post from February, "I'm Not An Addict" by K's Choice started playing and is stuck on repeat.

Anywho!  I've been in deep thought mode lately.  Maybe it's Mercury retrograde, maybe it's because we're sort of starting to change seasons, maybe it's because I'm a mom and my toddler talks about her "best friends" on a daily basis. Whatever the reason, I've been trying to figure things out as far back as elementary school.  The main focus is me never feeling like I truly fit in anywhere.

There was never just one group that I belonged to, and no lifelong "best friend".  Sure, my first best friend was Dominique (we're still friends); then once I started school it was Noelle (we're in touch via Facebook, but that's about it), then Allison (we see each other once or twice a year), then a few different ones throughout high school, and maybe in college.  Now I'd say if I had one, it would be my husband, but it's almost like those senior superlatives in high school - who cares?  It's a term or title that means nothing, at least not to me.

To make a potentially very long story short, there are people who mean a lot to me and who I need to make time to visit with - those friends I've had a really long time who I only see every now and then. There are newer friends I've made that it would be great to get to know better, but never invite them to do anything.

Will I ever feel like I "fit in"?  Probably not, but I'm well liked, and have always been a non-conformist. Maybe one day when we have a nice place to live and can invite all of our friends over from all walks of life and backgrounds and groups, everyone will like each other.  And really, that's the example I want my daughter to see.  

I'm an Addict

My name is Jillian and I have a problem.  I love to shop online.  Two years ago, I would have silently thought you were a weirdo had you been a mostly online shopper, but I have since joined the club.

It started out with Jane.com and then Zulily.  Then I was like, "I know my sizes at Old Navy and Gap, so I'll just order stuff from there online, too".  Then I got a LOFT card, and figured out my sizes there, and then I got hooked on thredUp.

The latest craze is LulaRoe (LLR).  I'll guesstimate that I have ten pair of LLR leggings, two skirts, two shirts, and one dress.  After I hosted my first online pop-up (an actual consultant sells her inventory with you acting as the hostess to your friends), it was like I had a good hit and joined five or more other groups immediately to buy more LLR!  I've since leveled out, thank goodness, and I'm back to watching the budget again.  

I can't tell you how many times I've told my husband, "I know (our daughter) and I don't need anymore clothes", but I keep buying them anyway.  My excuse I've been using for myself is that everything from LLR is very forgiving, so when I'm bloated it all still fits.  It is depressing when you know you have all these other cute skirts that don't stretch and you can't zip them over your belly.  Yet I don't want to get rid of them in hopes that I finally start to lose my gut.  Plus, I had just gotten them and maybe worn them once before I started gaining weight.

What I really need and would like to do is save all the money I spend on clothes (that no one really needs) to put toward a bigger, nicer home, and toward experiences that we'll remember.  Clothes are just immediate gratification.  If I tell myself that 500 times, maybe it will finally sink in.  This is the toughest challenge I've had to face in a long time.  Kinda sad, huh?

I've counted, and do own 10 pair - wearing one, so only 9 pictured

Hot Mess Mardi Gras

Two years ago, my husband and I both had food poisoning from eating bad prosciutto.  He actually went to the ER for it on Lundi Gras that year.  Last year it was pretty cold because Mardi Gras was early.  This year, my husband has been working the graveyard shift and I have a sinus infection and tummy issues.  I just want to be healthy, for him to have a flexible schedule, and all of us be happy and ready to parade at this time of year.

I've already got next year's plan made - which also means it will get messed up.  Nyx and Muses will be half days of work, and Flyday and Lundi Gras I will be totally off .  We'll hopefully have someone we can use as a babysitter for the night parades, and the rain needs to stay away.  Mardi Gras is going to be early in 2018, which I highly dislike, so it could be chilly.  Of course, with this whopping two weeks of winter we've had this year, it could just as easily be 80 degrees again - at least it's sunny.

Last Friday night, we ended up cancelling our open house party for Eve because of rain.  Actually, most people cancelled themselves.  Tonight we were going to do the same thing for Orpheus, but with my issues and my husband's schedule, we decided to call it off.  Plus, there's pretty major road construction on our street right now, which could prove to be a pain in the butt even for walkers.

It's just not meant to be for us this year.  If I feel better, tomorrow our three year old and I might join some friends heading uptown for a couple of morning parades.  Sunday we'll be at a friend's house with tons of food (but no parades), and Monday kind of depends on the weather, but could be a buffet lunch with some other friends.  Things aren't terrible, I just hope I can enjoy all this food, but next year I would really like to parade a bit more.

Happy Mardi Gras, Y'all!  Stay safe, and have a great time!

Pee - it's everywhere you want to be

Our girl is just shy of her third birthday. We've been potty training for just over three months now, at home and at daycare.  Most of that time, she's been in pull ups.  She was doing really well for awhile, especially with pooping in the potty, but for the last month, she's seemingly lost interest in the potty all together.  I understand that playtime is the most important thing in the world to her right now. Interrupting that for any reason whatsoever is just crazy....but so is walking around in soiled underpants, at least in my opinion. 

Hoping it may help, I've switched her to the kind of training pants we used as toddlers - the Gerber kind with the built in pad with a plastic cover over them. Today is day three and the accidents are multiplying.  In fact, they've tripled today alone.  I'm not mad.  One of those accidents did happen on the already nasty love seat, but it's also our main seating in the living room.  I sprayed it heavily with Lysol this evening to get rid of the smell. Shortly thereafter, I recalled Power dorm on LSU's campus several years ago (now where East Campus Apartments are).  Apparently, they smelled like piss and Lysol all the time! 

There are many reasons why it will be wonderful to have a potty trained kid.  We can finally buy nicer seating for the living room.  I won't have to carry a diaper bag anymore.  She can go to Montessori school.  Her dad and I will get a small pay raise because we won't have to buy diapers anymore (she still wears overnight diapers,  not pullups).

What do you do when you really need to put your love seat out for the trash (its also been puked on, pooped on, had milk spilled on it) but dont want to ruin your upholstered living room chairs that are still in good shape, or the floor pillows, or even the rug? Cover everything in plastic like in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? Sigh...