So, It's Been A While...

If we ever become all computerized and you could plug my brain into a screen to view files like on a flash drive, watch out!  Right now, I'm just thinking about my random playlist, but my thoughts in general are often quite out there.  The last two days I've been thinking about "Do the Hustle", then it switched over to "Hollywood Swingers", and when the read the title of my last post from February, "I'm Not An Addict" by K's Choice started playing and is stuck on repeat.

Anywho!  I've been in deep thought mode lately.  Maybe it's Mercury retrograde, maybe it's because we're sort of starting to change seasons, maybe it's because I'm a mom and my toddler talks about her "best friends" on a daily basis. Whatever the reason, I've been trying to figure things out as far back as elementary school.  The main focus is me never feeling like I truly fit in anywhere.

There was never just one group that I belonged to, and no lifelong "best friend".  Sure, my first best friend was Dominique (we're still friends); then once I started school it was Noelle (we're in touch via Facebook, but that's about it), then Allison (we see each other once or twice a year), then a few different ones throughout high school, and maybe in college.  Now I'd say if I had one, it would be my husband, but it's almost like those senior superlatives in high school - who cares?  It's a term or title that means nothing, at least not to me.

To make a potentially very long story short, there are people who mean a lot to me and who I need to make time to visit with - those friends I've had a really long time who I only see every now and then. There are newer friends I've made that it would be great to get to know better, but never invite them to do anything.

Will I ever feel like I "fit in"?  Probably not, but I'm well liked, and have always been a non-conformist. Maybe one day when we have a nice place to live and can invite all of our friends over from all walks of life and backgrounds and groups, everyone will like each other.  And really, that's the example I want my daughter to see.  

I'm an Addict

My name is Jillian and I have a problem.  I love to shop online.  Two years ago, I would have silently thought you were a weirdo had you been a mostly online shopper, but I have since joined the club.

It started out with Jane.com and then Zulily.  Then I was like, "I know my sizes at Old Navy and Gap, so I'll just order stuff from there online, too".  Then I got a LOFT card, and figured out my sizes there, and then I got hooked on thredUp.

The latest craze is LulaRoe (LLR).  I'll guesstimate that I have ten pair of LLR leggings, two skirts, two shirts, and one dress.  After I hosted my first online pop-up (an actual consultant sells her inventory with you acting as the hostess to your friends), it was like I had a good hit and joined five or more other groups immediately to buy more LLR!  I've since leveled out, thank goodness, and I'm back to watching the budget again.  

I can't tell you how many times I've told my husband, "I know (our daughter) and I don't need anymore clothes", but I keep buying them anyway.  My excuse I've been using for myself is that everything from LLR is very forgiving, so when I'm bloated it all still fits.  It is depressing when you know you have all these other cute skirts that don't stretch and you can't zip them over your belly.  Yet I don't want to get rid of them in hopes that I finally start to lose my gut.  Plus, I had just gotten them and maybe worn them once before I started gaining weight.

What I really need and would like to do is save all the money I spend on clothes (that no one really needs) to put toward a bigger, nicer home, and toward experiences that we'll remember.  Clothes are just immediate gratification.  If I tell myself that 500 times, maybe it will finally sink in.  This is the toughest challenge I've had to face in a long time.  Kinda sad, huh?

I've counted, and do own 10 pair - wearing one, so only 9 pictured

Hot Mess Mardi Gras

Two years ago, my husband and I both had food poisoning from eating bad prosciutto.  He actually went to the ER for it on Lundi Gras that year.  Last year it was pretty cold because Mardi Gras was early.  This year, my husband has been working the graveyard shift and I have a sinus infection and tummy issues.  I just want to be healthy, for him to have a flexible schedule, and all of us be happy and ready to parade at this time of year.

I've already got next year's plan made - which also means it will get messed up.  Nyx and Muses will be half days of work, and Flyday and Lundi Gras I will be totally off .  We'll hopefully have someone we can use as a babysitter for the night parades, and the rain needs to stay away.  Mardi Gras is going to be early in 2018, which I highly dislike, so it could be chilly.  Of course, with this whopping two weeks of winter we've had this year, it could just as easily be 80 degrees again - at least it's sunny.

Last Friday night, we ended up cancelling our open house party for Eve because of rain.  Actually, most people cancelled themselves.  Tonight we were going to do the same thing for Orpheus, but with my issues and my husband's schedule, we decided to call it off.  Plus, there's pretty major road construction on our street right now, which could prove to be a pain in the butt even for walkers.

It's just not meant to be for us this year.  If I feel better, tomorrow our three year old and I might join some friends heading uptown for a couple of morning parades.  Sunday we'll be at a friend's house with tons of food (but no parades), and Monday kind of depends on the weather, but could be a buffet lunch with some other friends.  Things aren't terrible, I just hope I can enjoy all this food, but next year I would really like to parade a bit more.

Happy Mardi Gras, Y'all!  Stay safe, and have a great time!

Pee - it's everywhere you want to be

Our girl is just shy of her third birthday. We've been potty training for just over three months now, at home and at daycare.  Most of that time, she's been in pull ups.  She was doing really well for awhile, especially with pooping in the potty, but for the last month, she's seemingly lost interest in the potty all together.  I understand that playtime is the most important thing in the world to her right now. Interrupting that for any reason whatsoever is just crazy....but so is walking around in soiled underpants, at least in my opinion. 

Hoping it may help, I've switched her to the kind of training pants we used as toddlers - the Gerber kind with the built in pad with a plastic cover over them. Today is day three and the accidents are multiplying.  In fact, they've tripled today alone.  I'm not mad.  One of those accidents did happen on the already nasty love seat, but it's also our main seating in the living room.  I sprayed it heavily with Lysol this evening to get rid of the smell. Shortly thereafter, I recalled Power dorm on LSU's campus several years ago (now where East Campus Apartments are).  Apparently, they smelled like piss and Lysol all the time! 

There are many reasons why it will be wonderful to have a potty trained kid.  We can finally buy nicer seating for the living room.  I won't have to carry a diaper bag anymore.  She can go to Montessori school.  Her dad and I will get a small pay raise because we won't have to buy diapers anymore (she still wears overnight diapers,  not pullups).

What do you do when you really need to put your love seat out for the trash (its also been puked on, pooped on, had milk spilled on it) but dont want to ruin your upholstered living room chairs that are still in good shape, or the floor pillows, or even the rug? Cover everything in plastic like in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? Sigh...

Fashionistas

My daughter and I get lots of compliments on our outfits,  so I wanted to share my favorite places to shop.  Dressing a girl is fun, and from what I hear, way more fun than dressing a boy. 

I have been raised to love a sale. That also means that sometimes I get sucked into buying something just because it's on sale,  and I don't really need it. I've also found that having the store apps on my phone and getting the store emails about deals or sales makes me want to shop more.  Lately, I've been trying to get better about that. I have adjusted my email settings and deleted the apps, which seems to help.

Generally speaking, I like the style of Gap, Old Navy, and Gymboree/Crazy 8 for my girl. Tea Collection is nice every now and then, but unless it's on clearance, I think it's too expensive.  Gap is usually reasonable at 50% off and Old Navy sales can make shopping there dirt cheap. Target's Cat and Jack line is inexpensive and cute, as is their Cherokee brand.  My final brand pick for little miss is Oshkosh Genuine Kids. The themes and styles are trendy and affordable even without a sale.

As a working mom,  I tend to prefer LOFT for my clothes because it's professional looking and most of it is machine washable.  Gap is hit or miss for my taste, as is Old Navy.  Banana is nice, but usually too expensive. I was reminded this weekend why I do most of my clothes shopping online nowadays - the stores are so crowded, and staff is either too involved or too aloof. That's why I love shopping on ThredUp. You can return things for free if something doesn't fit, and things are priced to sell.  Plus, you can try everything on at home!  Zulily is fun, too, but they don't do returns and it can take forever to get your stuff sometimes.  Locally, Style Encore isn't bad, but you have to have time to dig.

That's pretty much where we do our shopping. I don't mind second hand and I love sales.  Dressing myself and my girl is just another creative outlet for me, especially since I don't have time to really sit and craft anymore.  Happy shopping,  everyone!

The Hood

If you are a Facebook friend reading this, you already know the loathing I have for my neighborhood and its inhabitants.

Nine years ago this November, I was a single girl looking to get out of my parents house and make my own way in the world.  Little did I know that the market was going to crash and never pick back up.

The size and layout was great for someone like me.  Although, it didn't look like much from the outside, it met all of the dream first home requirements: it's near the water, I can ride my bike lots of places instead of driving, there's a small backyard, it's technically on a hill since the land goes up near the causeway bridge, and on clear days I can hear the church bells ring.  

Since then, I've gotten two roommates - my husband and our daughter.  Her stuff takes up just as much space as my stuff.  The hubs doesn't get much of his own, and it's hard for anyone to get any privacy (not that she wants any anyway, but I do).  There's a page in her baby book that says to put a picture of the house you lived in when you were born.  Here's a bland wood siding condo that's just as old as your parents - ugly and no thanks!

Why don't we move?  Well, we'd LOVE TO, but we each own property and both are in the same situation - the market sucks.  The red tape and stalling with the Port Marigny project is working my nerves because that would greatly help property values go up where we live.  Just this evening she and I were playing out in the parking lot with sidewalk chalk and blowing bubbles, where she falls all the time and scrapes her hands or knees.  The backyard is grassy, but there are so many mosquitoes because of the drainage ditch, the woods at Pre-Stress, and two neighbors who probably breed Zica spreading mosquitoes between their trash and unused boats in the yard.

Saying I hate living here is an understatement.  If I could think of a way besides insurance fraud to get rid of this condo and move, I'd never look back.  Our child deserves a full bedroom to herself and a nice fenced in yard to play in that we can get treated for mosquitoes.  We deserve a full sized kitchen and a bigger bathroom to share, as well as a break from the mental stress that living in such tight quarters with no privacy causes.

Of course, we could still get crappy neighbors, be stressed about something else, and still be practically forced to be part of the HOA regardless of where we live.  But having a "sanctuary" to retreat to would be a big step up from what we have now.  So, if you wonder why we don't invite you in or over, it's because it's impossible to keep remotely tidy with a toddler and no space.

Bag o' Fun

You know those moments - when you think to yourself, "Ugh, I just sounded like my mom/dad/parents!".  Last night I was trying to catch up with a friend on the phone who I hadn't talked to in months.  LP had diarrhea diaper number three, was actin' a fool/being a toddler, and I was tired. Once I finally was able to call friend back and have a mostly uninterrupted conversation with her, all I wanted was a bottle of wine (yes, a bottle) and to go to bed.

The hubs and I took a much needed vacation last week to Ojai, California.  Google it if you haven't heard of it (you probably haven't) - it's quite lovely.  Sunny skies all day everyday, low humidity, relaxing by the pool, quiet, loads of sweet, juicy citrus everywhere, we rode bikes everyday and everywhere....anyway, since we've been back all I've wanted to do is read, relax, and ride my bike.

I have a cute felted bag from Barnes and Noble that is being used as a holder for my relaxation activities, like brush tip markers, fine-line color pens, coloring books, an embroidery kit, some magazines, etc.  This morning, with the school and library closings, I was excited to get up and have some me time.  I only got as far as the first paragraph of this blog, but I still have hope for the rest of the day.  Coloring should be doable with LP around, and hopefully she naps later so I can read.

Anyway, my bag o'fun gives me hope that one day, sometime, I'll be able to have a moment to myself to restore and relax and pretend I'm still on vacation.